all was chaos...

Before I was a mommy...

I smoked too much

I painted myself silver and pranced around the house in leather hot pants

I thought of myself

alot

I could out drink a man that out weighed me by 150+ pounds and then when he passed out in my backyard... I could find a way to drag him in and lay him on the sofa

I thought I was free to be who I was and who I wanted

I wore big boots and dark lipstick

I sang loudly and didn't care who heard

I made my boyfriend the happiest man on earth

I made my boyfriend miserable and crazy

I was a size 4

I drank too much pepsi and watched too much tv

I wasn't perfect.

But now, now things are different...

Of course I'm still not perfect

I drink too much cherry coke and cherish my quiet time

I'm a size 6

I make my husband completely insane

I make my husband the happiest man on earth

I sing loudly with my daughter and hope everyone hears the joy

I wear big boots but seldom have time for lipstick

I am free to be who I am... that's all I want to be

I'm an easy drunk, 2 martinis and I just want to curl up and snooze... but first I can carry my girl to bed and tuck her in with sweet dreams

I think of my daughter, and then myself, and my husband

alot

I play dress up with my daughter and make special teas just for us

I blog into the wee hours of the night... and then again in the morning.

cami answers more questions while she's ill...

That's right. I'm not feeling well. My husband was sick for a week, my daughter was sick for a week (and still is) and now I'm sick. So I'm grumbly and coughing and tired. Plus I'm bored, oh so very bored...

and then I noticed that Angel set us some homework, I'm hoping that for at least 10 minutes that will take the boredom away...


1. Do you remember a particular incident or moment from your own childhood that has influenced the way you raise your offspring?

I had an awful babysitter when we lived in Texas, she used the bible as an excuse to be an over bearing tyrant to the children in her care. I've always hoped I can keep K out of situations like that one.

2. Have you started some kind of savings plan or investment thingy for when your kidlet wants to go to college or varsity?

Currently it is called the piggy bank... but we need to start up her account

3. Do you think it’s possible to let go of “mommy guilt”, to forgive yourself and move on, to do better?

possible yes. easy? not in a million years.

4. How long after giving birth did you want to have sex?

It was about a month before I wanted it, but I had a very traumatic delivery so I did as i was told and waited until I had seen my doctor at 6 weeks. I'm not a glutton for punishment or a sex maniac... I just really missed it and I had been so ill during my pregnancy that very little sex was being had then. Mr. Kaos was really afraid of hurting me, afraid that we were jumping back in the saddle too soon. But everything worked out just fine ;)

CamiKaos gets strict

It's time once again for our weekly dose of homework answers... and this week I'm just jumping right in to tell you that...

What is the one thing you have said or done to your kid that you regret the most.

I am usually a very patient person, but there are times that K pushes my patience to the very edges of sanity and I have a tendency to snark at her or yell. I hate when I yell. Even if I've spent an entire week with my buttons being pushed poked and prodded I hate yelling... but it happens and I feel like and asshole.


Have you passed any bad habits on to your kid?

She is so unbelievably sassy and sarcastic... but I'm not sure that's entirely bad...


Does your own mom rock or suck?

My own mother is awesome times ten. Except that she lives too far away.


How do you feel about TV, music, popular media around your kids? Anything in particular you feel strongly about not letting your kid watch, listen to, read?

I feel poorly about alot of popular media around my kid... for sure. She is allowed to watch DVD's and things that I have TiVo'd so that I can skip all the commercials. She is not allowed to watch anything with teenwhores with their belly buttons bared and low cut shirts where their would be cleavage is. Bratz dolls are the bane of my existence and K has never had one. She has asked, I have said no. She has asked, I have said no, she has asked I have said no again and again and again. All of my friends know how I feel so their purchase of them has also been avoided... but if one of her little school friends ever gets her one I may freaking burst.

I HATE THEM.

As far as reading... I am just so proud of her for reading that she can read whatever piques her interest.

She can listen to all the music she wants that could be considered appropriate for a girl her age... and even much that isn't. The girl can sing about 10 jazz standards and twice that many blues songs. She's got half the Tom Waits catalog down too. Add that to her hearty respect and adoration of Captain Bogg n' Salty and her age appropriate love of Dan Zanes and we have high hopes for her musical appreciation.

But for the love of all things good keep the Bratz and the teen slut pop stars away from my kid.

Oh, and she isn't allowed to eat fast food... or ground beef... but that's really neither here nor there.

CamiKaos does her homework... again.

How is mothering, in reality, different from what you expected it to be?

It's not. I didn't know what to expect at all though, so it isn't LIKE what I expected either...

What is something you, as a kid, vowed you would never say to your own kids? Have you kept the vow?

"Because I said so" And I haven't said it... but I've said every singly variation on it I can think of.

If someone stopped in to your house for a surprise visit, would you be glad for the company, or self-conscious by the condition of your home?

Let's make one thing very very clear... don't fucking come over to my house unless you're invited. It usually has nothing to do with my house, it's more that... well I don't like ANYBODY who shows up at my door unexpected. I have a phone. Don't you?

If you had twins tomorrow (boy and a girl) and you got to name them without any input from anyone else, what would you choose?

If I magically had twins and didn't have to carry them and give birth to them... wow.... aside from all the extreme changes I would have to make in my life... um... Paul and oh, I don't know.. maybe Bella

Did you suffer from post natal depression (this is an awful boring question but I always wonder about this cause I didn't suffer myself)?

Nope.

interrogation... you've never been in my hotseat

Homework assignment #3... apparently this one was difficult. I think it is my squeaky clean wholesome goody goodness *giggle* that makes these questions so easy for me to answer...

What was your biggest disappointment when you found out you were pregnant and how did you cope with it?

That I spent 7 months puking at the drop of a hat. I was in a good place, in a good relationship. I was disappointed at all, we were happy… but oh the “morning” sickness made me want to hurt people.

How have you managed, if you have, to retain the friendships of child-less friends?

It hasn’t been a problem. Most of our good friends were happy to have K be a part of their life. She has a bunch of extra aunts and uncles.

Have you acknowledged the mistakes you have made in raising your child, to your child?

Yes. She knows I‘m not perfect. I hope it gives her a better view of humanity and a better ability to admit her own mistakes.

What is the best thing your kid's other parent has said about your parenting?

That I am an amazing mother

What is the worst?

Nothing too bad, that I spoil her.

I’m soooooooooooooo boring.

sick sickety sick

What does a bad mommy do with a sick little kid with a 101 degree fever?

One that doesn't want to eat, sleep, talk or even dance and play?

Simple...

juice. water. meds. juice. crackers. water. tv. tv. tv. juice. crackers. cats. tv. tv. tv. soup. more juice...

a little bit of love.

some cuddles...

and of course some more water juice and tv...

What do you do when your little one is so sick they don't even have the energy to drive you nuts?

really... more homework already?

Only my second day here and I'm already behind... Lets catch up and learn a little more about this bad mommy and her wonderful family...

What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?

I always hear that the pain of childbirth fades from your memory... that in time what you're left with is that perfect memory of your child in your arms... Isn't that sweet? Isn't it comforting? It is, isn't it? It's also total bullshit.

What I remember the very most is a great overwhelming sense of relief that K was out, alive and over 5 pounds. I had a complicated pregnancy and an awful delivery so the fact that she made it out in one perfect little piece and slightly bigger than expected... I just remember the relief. I wish I could say it was pride or joy but it wasn't. Relief.

I won't bore/terrify you with the details of my daughters delivery today, it's a tale in and of its self... But I will tell you that if you're preparing to give birth you need to expect the unexpected.

What weird cravings did you have, if any?

I had no weird cravings but I had plenty of aversions. I lost weight in my first trimester and then was barely able to gain an acceptable amount in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. The smell of things I normally loved tended to make me very ill.

What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

If K had been a boy we would have had a hard time picking a name. We loved Paul and Maximilian among others but there were never any other options for a girl.

What's the hardest part about being a mommy?

For me the hardest part of being a mommy, at first, was accepting that breast feeding didn't work for K and I. We tried and tired but she was so tiny that there was a great need to get her eating well and fast... she was so tiny and she had such a difficult time suckling. When we discussed it with the lactation consultant she did her best to make me feel like a horrible person because I wanted to give her formula to ensure she was being nourished. It was heart breaking for me and I was still emotionally drained from the pregnancy and delivery. I was unstable. I was in pain. Luckily I had Mr. Kaos' love and support and enough common sense to discuss the situation with K's pediatrician and my doctor.

The hardest part when K was 3 was dealing with her "I hate you" period. No ones mentions how hard 3 year olds can be. You hear about the terrible 2's but I didn't think 2 was all that bad. It was three that saw K lobbing insults and injury at me. It's hard not to crumble when you live with a tiny evil tyrant...

The hardest part now is being me. Being Cami. Being my own person while being her mother. It is all too easy to give in to being a wife and a mother completely and forget what makes you, you. I did that for a while and it was hard to come back from.

How did becoming a mommy change you?

I can't even begin to tell you.

What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?

Drink lemon water if you're still swollen when you get home from the hospital... Talk to your doctor if you feel overwhelmed or depressed. Don't let crazy people touch your belly.

say hello to CamiKaos...

Hi, I'm CamiKaos... I'm new to The Bad Mommy Blog but not new to the bad mommy game... I've had six years to perfect my parenting (okay so perfect isn't what I would call my parenting skills but isn't that the point of this blog?) and though it's sometimes been a bumpy road, I wouldn't trade a moment of it...

When I was asked to join these other lovely bad mom's I received some instructions that spelled out for me how to begin and so with our further ado my Bad Mommy Homework 1... it's a little late but I hope it makes the grade.

Post a picture of your kid.

this is K. Yes she really is that dramatic.

Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

Well since you probably wouldn't know anything about me at all unless I told you I can pretty much say anything I want here can't I? I could tell you that I always have my toe nails painted because I feel sexy and sassy that way. I can tell you that I have a crippling cherry coke addiction. I can tel you that I'm not wearing any shoes right now. There. Three things, easy.

Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.

Again... I can say anything here... wild inventions, honest truths, quirky traits. But lets go with... She loves superheroes. She loves to have her toes nails painted too. Her favorite meal is salt crusted talapia, rice and broccoli.

What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

This is life.

Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

I don't have one. I find that in this day and age we, as a society, put far too much emphasis on famous people as our heroes and role models and not nearly enough on "regular" people. My mommy role models are my mother, my aunt and my ex house mate who was a single mom and doing one hell of a job raising a great kid.

If you could have one wish granted for your kid, what would it be?

There was one thing my parents always said they wanted for me as I was growing up... my happiness. That is truly what I wish for my daughter. I long and happy life.

Is that it? that wasn't so tough... homework shmomework... We'll talk again soon

xoxo- CamiKaos