I honestly don't think a pet gives children any sense of responsibility at all. Unless you insist they feed said pet, and then said pet would die because said child would not feed said pet. Then said child would cry and said parent could say "Well you obviously aren't responsible for a pet yet, are you?". Said parent would be a bit of an ass though, wouldn't they?
I got Ciara a cat when she was two. Her name is Lulu, and her lift doesn't even reach the first floor, poor thing. Lulu the cat is fed by me. Ciara loves 'her' cat a lot though. But that is where it ends.
We now have one cat and three dogs, all of them are Ciara's (if you ask her). But they are all fed, cleaned and housed by me (and my mom.)
Pets can be really good for kids. Ciara and Cleopatra (the black lab) have so much fun together. "Find Ciara" is one of our favorite games, where Ciara hides and Cleo searches for her everywhere. Lots of fun.
But pets have a downside too. They die. Before we do. When we lost Priscilla (the female* goldfish) and then later Elvis (the male* goldfish) there were many tears and there is nothing I, as a parent, could do but just let her cry. The heartbreak (for both of us) is agonising.
A little side bar story. I had a cat named Jessie from when I was about 10. When she was 11, and I was 21 Jessie was old and she died. This was heartbreaking, but understandable (I was 21 afterall). Jessie was soon replaced by Poe the mini-cat. I loved Poe very much, and she went missing after only about 6 months, and we later discovered she had been hit by a car. I was devastated. I vowed never to get another pet - EVER.
I only got my next pet when I was 27 years old (the aformentioned Lulu), and I refused to love this cat until about 2 years ago. The death of Poe had affected me that badly.
Since Ciara is a mini-me, I worry that she will be as deeply affected by the death of a pet** as I was, and still am.
* The sex of the goldfish was just decided as we wanted to name them Priscilla and Elvis. I have no idea how one determines the sex of a goldfish.
** Goldfish don't count as 'real' pets. Because they are goldfish.
Showing posts with label Kerryn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kerryn. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Three things that make me a Bad Mommy
Here are my three things :
1. I let Ciara sleep with me every single night. We have been living in our new house for just over two years, and she hasn't once slept in her own bed. I don't feel bad about it at all.
2. I let Ciara drink from a bottle until she was 6 years old. She enjoys lying down and drinking out of a bottle, so I let her. Her teeth are fine and I don't feel bad about it at all.
3. I sometimes (usually) give in to her pleas for material things. I buy her lots of stuff. She still seems to appreciate it. I feel a little bad about this one.
1. I let Ciara sleep with me every single night. We have been living in our new house for just over two years, and she hasn't once slept in her own bed. I don't feel bad about it at all.
2. I let Ciara drink from a bottle until she was 6 years old. She enjoys lying down and drinking out of a bottle, so I let her. Her teeth are fine and I don't feel bad about it at all.
3. I sometimes (usually) give in to her pleas for material things. I buy her lots of stuff. She still seems to appreciate it. I feel a little bad about this one.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
The worst mama ever . . . .
So, it goes like this. I fetch Ciara from aftercare at school yesterday and she is crying. I immediately ask her whats wrong, like the good momma I thought I was, and she tells me she fell and hurt her wrist.
So I ask her if it is sore when she moves it, must we go to the hospital or does she think she will be okay. She tells me that it is REALLY sore. I am getting really frustrated, because seriously, who wants to go and sit at the emergency room at night in the cold?
I'm thinking, it's probably just bruised, this child is such a drama queen*.
So after much mmming and aaahing, I head over to Unitas to have my child seen to. I am not a happy momma at this point. I want to be at home. It's dark. It's cold. I have SO many chores to do.
After spending 400 hours** at the emergency room, we get the result that she has, in fact, fractured her wrist. She is currently in a splint, with a cast being put on on Friday.
So, it's official. I'm the crappiest momma ever.
* In my defence, the child is the queen of drama, and belongs on stage, in fact, she should be awarded an honorary Academy Award for Outstanding Performance in Bawling at Absolutely Everything.
** Okay, so it was only an hour and a half, but the drama queen apple does not fall far from the drama queen tree.
Duel posted here : The Bull(Shit) Times
So I ask her if it is sore when she moves it, must we go to the hospital or does she think she will be okay. She tells me that it is REALLY sore. I am getting really frustrated, because seriously, who wants to go and sit at the emergency room at night in the cold?
I'm thinking, it's probably just bruised, this child is such a drama queen*.
So after much mmming and aaahing, I head over to Unitas to have my child seen to. I am not a happy momma at this point. I want to be at home. It's dark. It's cold. I have SO many chores to do.
After spending 400 hours** at the emergency room, we get the result that she has, in fact, fractured her wrist. She is currently in a splint, with a cast being put on on Friday.
So, it's official. I'm the crappiest momma ever.
* In my defence, the child is the queen of drama, and belongs on stage, in fact, she should be awarded an honorary Academy Award for Outstanding Performance in Bawling at Absolutely Everything.
** Okay, so it was only an hour and a half, but the drama queen apple does not fall far from the drama queen tree.
Duel posted here : The Bull(Shit) Times
Friday, June 13, 2008
Milestones
I had some news this week that a friend of mines 14 year old daughter had her first real kiss. I was thrilled in the way only a close friend, but not the actual mom can be.
This got me thinking about milestones and the bitter-sweet feelings they bring with them.
Ciara has physically been an incredibly easy child to mother.
She day-time potty trained so well, and potty trained herself during the night. She wet the bed maybe two or three times, and I have never restricted her intake of liquid at all. She has trained her body and bladder very well. This was the first and only milestone I have ever felt only glad about - not having to clean shitty nappies - yay!!
Her first day of Big School (Grade 1 - 2007) was wonderful and sad. My little baby is growing up. Kitted out in her Big Girl uniform, which was too big for her, she looked so happy and nervous and excited about her new adventure. The outside of my said "Yay, look at you my big girl" but the inside of me cried just a little.
I have always bathed Ciara. For two reasons, One : I enjoyed it and Two : I didn't think she could do a proper job of it. But then she wanted to do it herself, and in the shower. Hooray, I shouted on the outside, what a big, independent girl you are. "Don't take away my bathing please" I shouted on the inside. My baby was growing up.
Ciara turned 7 in January - SEVEN. She is growing so fast, and so beautifully.
Letting go is hard to do, and on the outside my face smiles, and the encouraging and appropriate words come out, but on the inside I cry just a little for the lost joys of being needed for everything, for that little girl with the big blue eyes who saw me as flawless and amazing and capable.
This got me thinking about milestones and the bitter-sweet feelings they bring with them.
Ciara has physically been an incredibly easy child to mother.
She day-time potty trained so well, and potty trained herself during the night. She wet the bed maybe two or three times, and I have never restricted her intake of liquid at all. She has trained her body and bladder very well. This was the first and only milestone I have ever felt only glad about - not having to clean shitty nappies - yay!!
Her first day of Big School (Grade 1 - 2007) was wonderful and sad. My little baby is growing up. Kitted out in her Big Girl uniform, which was too big for her, she looked so happy and nervous and excited about her new adventure. The outside of my said "Yay, look at you my big girl" but the inside of me cried just a little.
I have always bathed Ciara. For two reasons, One : I enjoyed it and Two : I didn't think she could do a proper job of it. But then she wanted to do it herself, and in the shower. Hooray, I shouted on the outside, what a big, independent girl you are. "Don't take away my bathing please" I shouted on the inside. My baby was growing up.
Ciara turned 7 in January - SEVEN. She is growing so fast, and so beautifully.
Letting go is hard to do, and on the outside my face smiles, and the encouraging and appropriate words come out, but on the inside I cry just a little for the lost joys of being needed for everything, for that little girl with the big blue eyes who saw me as flawless and amazing and capable.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
About bloody time I do some homework . . .
Today you are 7 years, 3 months and 1 day old.
At this exact moment, you are at home playing (or annoying) granny.
These days, you like to wear anything comfy. You like the occasional dress, but prefer shorts.
Your favorite t.v. shows and movies are High School Musical, Hannah Montana, The suite life of Zach and Cody.
You love to do crafts, write stories and plan birthday parties for your stuffed animals.
You say many things, some of them are a little out there. I love nothing more than our Saturday and Sunday morning, in bed, chat-a-bouts!
Your favorite food differs from day to day. You are the fussiest eater ever!
Your favorite character from a show or movie is difficult to tell. Hannah Montana maybe? I get the feeling that the entertainment of the whole show is what you dig :-)
This is your favorite toy: Pollys and Barbies.
I love you to death, but I really wish you would stop bawling when you don't get your own way and the new sulking thing is driving me crazy!
You're a great kid because of so many things. I am constantly amazed at you. I am always proud of you. You totally rock kiddo.
I'm amazed that you read so well, have such an affinity for numbers (mamma's girl) and love so strongly.
I love it when you curl yourself up on my lap, or fall asleep on my shoulder. You're getting older and these moments are rarer and rarer.
Something I’m wearing these days that will probably make you laugh some day (or already does) is my bikini :-)
Something you are struggling with presently that I wish I could help you with is your own impatience with yourself. You are not superwoman baby. It takes time to master anything. Give yourself a break every now and then.
This is an article from a magazine or newspaper describing an event that happened today or around this time:
"Schoolchildren in Kliptown, Soweto have become the first in South Africa to benefit from the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) campaign, reports the Mail and Guardian.
One hundred children from the Kliptown Youth Programme have joined the community of 250 000 children from developing countries across the world in being owners of the worlds cheapest and child-friendliest laptops.
The durbale XO Laptops weigh only 1.3 kilograms and cost US$100 (R780) to manufacture. OLPC founder Nicholas Negoponte, aims to address the lack of educational resources and the consequent impact on the learning potential of children living in developing countries, by distributing the laptops around the world."
At this exact moment, you are at home playing (or annoying) granny.
These days, you like to wear anything comfy. You like the occasional dress, but prefer shorts.
Your favorite t.v. shows and movies are High School Musical, Hannah Montana, The suite life of Zach and Cody.
You love to do crafts, write stories and plan birthday parties for your stuffed animals.
You say many things, some of them are a little out there. I love nothing more than our Saturday and Sunday morning, in bed, chat-a-bouts!
Your favorite food differs from day to day. You are the fussiest eater ever!
Your favorite character from a show or movie is difficult to tell. Hannah Montana maybe? I get the feeling that the entertainment of the whole show is what you dig :-)
This is your favorite toy: Pollys and Barbies.
I love you to death, but I really wish you would stop bawling when you don't get your own way and the new sulking thing is driving me crazy!
You're a great kid because of so many things. I am constantly amazed at you. I am always proud of you. You totally rock kiddo.
I'm amazed that you read so well, have such an affinity for numbers (mamma's girl) and love so strongly.
I love it when you curl yourself up on my lap, or fall asleep on my shoulder. You're getting older and these moments are rarer and rarer.
Something I’m wearing these days that will probably make you laugh some day (or already does) is my bikini :-)
Something you are struggling with presently that I wish I could help you with is your own impatience with yourself. You are not superwoman baby. It takes time to master anything. Give yourself a break every now and then.
This is an article from a magazine or newspaper describing an event that happened today or around this time:
"Schoolchildren in Kliptown, Soweto have become the first in South Africa to benefit from the One Laptop Per Child (OLPC) campaign, reports the Mail and Guardian.
One hundred children from the Kliptown Youth Programme have joined the community of 250 000 children from developing countries across the world in being owners of the worlds cheapest and child-friendliest laptops.
The durbale XO Laptops weigh only 1.3 kilograms and cost US$100 (R780) to manufacture. OLPC founder Nicholas Negoponte, aims to address the lack of educational resources and the consequent impact on the learning potential of children living in developing countries, by distributing the laptops around the world."
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Not so much bad, as stupid
Last week Friday, I had a really stupid mommy moment.
I go off to fetch Ciara from school, and arrive promptly at 12:30 when all the short ones are leaving for the day.
So I wait and wait, and then wait some more and still no sign of Ms. Ciara anywhere. So when I am the last-lone momma I decide that maybe she went off to aftercare.
I walk up to the cafeteria (which coincidentally is 400 miles from the gate) and cannot find her anywhere.
At this stage mild panic starts to set in. I go to the office and ask where her teacher is so that I can find my child. Another teacher asks what her last class was, and I am directed to that area.
When she is not there - major panic sets in and I am physically unable to breathe. I'm ever so slightly starting to lose any grip I once had on my sanity.
I go back to the office to find if they have had any luck locating the teacher and I'm ready to burst into tears. I whip all who cross my path into a frenzy about my missing child.
I am able (somehow) to make the decision to check the gate one last time.
Relief floods over me in tsunamis when I see her little blond head milling about with the other stragglers.
I phone the office, and timidly advise that I have found her and they can cancel the fricken bright red alert on my missing child.
I hug her tightly and ask where the feckin hell she has been.
Hindsight makes me feel rather foolish and paranoid and stupid.
I hate Hindsight.
She's a bitch.
I go off to fetch Ciara from school, and arrive promptly at 12:30 when all the short ones are leaving for the day.
So I wait and wait, and then wait some more and still no sign of Ms. Ciara anywhere. So when I am the last-lone momma I decide that maybe she went off to aftercare.
I walk up to the cafeteria (which coincidentally is 400 miles from the gate) and cannot find her anywhere.
At this stage mild panic starts to set in. I go to the office and ask where her teacher is so that I can find my child. Another teacher asks what her last class was, and I am directed to that area.
When she is not there - major panic sets in and I am physically unable to breathe. I'm ever so slightly starting to lose any grip I once had on my sanity.
I go back to the office to find if they have had any luck locating the teacher and I'm ready to burst into tears. I whip all who cross my path into a frenzy about my missing child.
I am able (somehow) to make the decision to check the gate one last time.
Relief floods over me in tsunamis when I see her little blond head milling about with the other stragglers.
I phone the office, and timidly advise that I have found her and they can cancel the fricken bright red alert on my missing child.
I hug her tightly and ask where the feckin hell she has been.
Hindsight makes me feel rather foolish and paranoid and stupid.
I hate Hindsight.
She's a bitch.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Better late than never . . .
Late, but done. . .
Before I was a mom . . .
Before I was a mom . . .
- I had thin easy to handle hair.
- It was easy to loose my winter weight without exercising.
- I had no sense of purpose.
- I don’t know what I did with my time.
- I knew that I would be a kick-ass mom :-)
- I never felt fear the way I feel it now.
- I could go to the loo by myself.
- I never knew what real love was.
My list is pretty short. Other than my extreme lack of time, I haven’t really changed all that much!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I answer my own questions . . . .
1. What is the one thing you have said or done to your kid that you regret the most. I hate it when I use emotional black mail. And I do do it. And I hate it. I really, really try not to. I also don't like that I sometimes take my 'bad day at the office' moods out on her.
2. Have you passed any bad habits on to your kid/s?
Ha ha, that would depend on the definition of 'bad habits'. She doesn't smoke or drink or fart in company (yet), but she is very opinionated, and has inherited a bit of my OCD. She likes to be organised, and does not like disorder. I would like her to be a bit more relaxed than I am, but the apple does not fall far . . .
3. Does your own mom rock or suck?
Yes :-) My own mom totally rocks 99% of the time. I love her dearly, but she sometimes pisses me off. I blame this on her complete inability to do things my way.
4. How do you feel about TV, music, popular media around your kids? Anything in particular you feel strongly about not letting your kid/s watch/listen to/read?
I think, ultimately, Ciara will make up her own mind about stuff. I let her watch any kids programmes on TV. I adhere mostly to how movies are rated. I am very strict about language, sex and violence, which is not appropriate for a 7 year old (in my opinion). I also encourage her to stay young for as long as she possibly can. I am still pushing Winnie the Pooh (love him to DEATH) and Mickey Mouse club house. And hell, if she still wants to watch an old Noddy movie, then so be it.
I will not have her coform to the norm, and stop watching/reading/doing the things she loves because she is being told that it is too 'baby' by her classmates who are already concerned about make-up and fashion (at 7, FFS).
As Cami mentioned, I'm not a big fan of the Bratz either, but I don't really have to worry too much about it. Ciara is more of a Barbie girl, and though she has two Bratz she isn't obssessed with them (like some little girls I've seen.)
With me as a mom, she is not listening to the same music as her classmates (Beyonce/Britney/any other crap). She is being exposed to a lot of differenct types of music, and her current fav, although a bit old, is Dani California (RHCP). She can listen to anything she likes, but I'll keep my Eminem out of the car until she is a bit older.
2. Have you passed any bad habits on to your kid/s?
Ha ha, that would depend on the definition of 'bad habits'. She doesn't smoke or drink or fart in company (yet), but she is very opinionated, and has inherited a bit of my OCD. She likes to be organised, and does not like disorder. I would like her to be a bit more relaxed than I am, but the apple does not fall far . . .
3. Does your own mom rock or suck?
Yes :-) My own mom totally rocks 99% of the time. I love her dearly, but she sometimes pisses me off. I blame this on her complete inability to do things my way.
4. How do you feel about TV, music, popular media around your kids? Anything in particular you feel strongly about not letting your kid/s watch/listen to/read?
I think, ultimately, Ciara will make up her own mind about stuff. I let her watch any kids programmes on TV. I adhere mostly to how movies are rated. I am very strict about language, sex and violence, which is not appropriate for a 7 year old (in my opinion). I also encourage her to stay young for as long as she possibly can. I am still pushing Winnie the Pooh (love him to DEATH) and Mickey Mouse club house. And hell, if she still wants to watch an old Noddy movie, then so be it.
I will not have her coform to the norm, and stop watching/reading/doing the things she loves because she is being told that it is too 'baby' by her classmates who are already concerned about make-up and fashion (at 7, FFS).
As Cami mentioned, I'm not a big fan of the Bratz either, but I don't really have to worry too much about it. Ciara is more of a Barbie girl, and though she has two Bratz she isn't obssessed with them (like some little girls I've seen.)
With me as a mom, she is not listening to the same music as her classmates (Beyonce/Britney/any other crap). She is being exposed to a lot of differenct types of music, and her current fav, although a bit old, is Dani California (RHCP). She can listen to anything she likes, but I'll keep my Eminem out of the car until she is a bit older.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Homework - my turn
Posting this from my phone, so finger trouble must be forgiven :-)
1. What is the one thing you have said or done to your kid that you regret the most.
2. Have you passed any bad habits on to your kid/s?
3. Does your own mom rock or suck?
4. How do you feel about TV, music, popular media around your kids? Anything in particular you feel strongly about not letting your kid/s watch/listen to/read?
Okay folks, only four from me. It's been a rough week and this week ain't looking much better, but I'll definately be back to check your answers.
1. What is the one thing you have said or done to your kid that you regret the most.
2. Have you passed any bad habits on to your kid/s?
3. Does your own mom rock or suck?
4. How do you feel about TV, music, popular media around your kids? Anything in particular you feel strongly about not letting your kid/s watch/listen to/read?
Okay folks, only four from me. It's been a rough week and this week ain't looking much better, but I'll definately be back to check your answers.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Did I say that?
Things I probably shouldn’t say to Ciara, but do anyway :
- I am going to sell you to the next person who walks past the house.
- I would take you back, but they wouldn’t give me a refund.
- I WILL beat you.
- If you don’t stop whining, I am going to jump off the tallest building I can find.
Some days being a mom is so rewarding.
Other days I would prefer to stab myself repeatedly in my left eye with a hot poker.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Homework - Me
1. How is mothering, in reality, different from what you expected it to be?
I never really expected anything, so the answer is not at all!
2. What is something you, as a kid, vowed you would never say to your own kids? Have you kept the vow?
I promised myself I would never yell at her for acting out when she just wanted attention or when she is doing something and won't stop because it was funny the first three hundred times, but is wearing a little thin now. Have I kept it? I really, really, really try. I now say "that was funny and fun the first three hundred times, but it isn't anymore. I really don't want to yell at you when we were having so much fun, so please stop using me as a human trampoline my sweet, beautiful angel." It usually works, but I do sometimes yell on my less patient days.
3. If someone stopped in to your house for a surprise visit, would you be glad for the company, or self-concious by the condition of your home?
I am never self-concious by the condition of my home. Not because it is pristine, but because I don't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks. Would I be glad for the company? Hmmm, it would really depend who it was at the door.
4. If you had twins tomorrow (boy and a girl) and you got to name them without any input from anyone else, what would you choose?
Iraq (boy) and Iran (girl) :-)
5. Did you suffer from post natal depression (this is an awful boring question but I always wonder about this cause I didn't suffer myself)?
Not at all. I really do empathise with people who do though, it must be awful!
ps. My spell check won't work, so please blame any spelling errors on blogger - write them a letter or something . . .
I never really expected anything, so the answer is not at all!
2. What is something you, as a kid, vowed you would never say to your own kids? Have you kept the vow?
I promised myself I would never yell at her for acting out when she just wanted attention or when she is doing something and won't stop because it was funny the first three hundred times, but is wearing a little thin now. Have I kept it? I really, really, really try. I now say "that was funny and fun the first three hundred times, but it isn't anymore. I really don't want to yell at you when we were having so much fun, so please stop using me as a human trampoline my sweet, beautiful angel." It usually works, but I do sometimes yell on my less patient days.
3. If someone stopped in to your house for a surprise visit, would you be glad for the company, or self-concious by the condition of your home?
I am never self-concious by the condition of my home. Not because it is pristine, but because I don't give a rats ass what anyone else thinks. Would I be glad for the company? Hmmm, it would really depend who it was at the door.
4. If you had twins tomorrow (boy and a girl) and you got to name them without any input from anyone else, what would you choose?
Iraq (boy) and Iran (girl) :-)
5. Did you suffer from post natal depression (this is an awful boring question but I always wonder about this cause I didn't suffer myself)?
Not at all. I really do empathise with people who do though, it must be awful!
ps. My spell check won't work, so please blame any spelling errors on blogger - write them a letter or something . . .
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
To spank or not to spank
When I first heard the new anti-spanking laws. I was like, WTF? How DARE anyone tell me I am not allowed to spank my kid !!
Ciara has been given a few hidings in her life. She has always been spanked on the bottom or tapped on the hands (for touching things she ain't supposed to!)
I have had heated arguments with anti-spanking parents about this issue, and really, at the end of the day Ciara is not abused in any sense of the word, and no-one is going to change my mind about the value of a good smack on the bottom.
My main opposition to this law is that our child services are already over loaded with REAL, AWFUL cases of UNSPEAKABLE abuse, how the hell are they going to police a spank on the bottom? If Ciara is throwing one of her world renowned tantis in Pick ‘n Pay and I give her a smack on the behind, am I going to end up behind bars? How ludicrous. Instead of one social worker to 30 cases, it will now be one social worker to 100 cases, or more. Feels like we are going backwards, neh?
But then I sat and thought about it for a while, and realised what these laws are really about.
They are about that father who claims that he broke his 3 year old childs arm in the process of disciplining her.
They are about that mother who killed her child with a wallop on the head, and claims to have been disciplining him.
They are about that new mother who has grown so frustrated and tired that she shakes her baby to death, claiming "trying to discipline".
They are about all those people out there who cannot understand that their is a huge difference between a spank on the bottom and a hit to the head with a baseball bat.
Most of us have enough common sense to know that beating our children is not okay. Unfortunately there are too many who don’t have any common sense at all - and burning kids with cigarettes seems a perfectly acceptable way to teach your child something.
Ciara has been given a few hidings in her life. She has always been spanked on the bottom or tapped on the hands (for touching things she ain't supposed to!)
I have had heated arguments with anti-spanking parents about this issue, and really, at the end of the day Ciara is not abused in any sense of the word, and no-one is going to change my mind about the value of a good smack on the bottom.
My main opposition to this law is that our child services are already over loaded with REAL, AWFUL cases of UNSPEAKABLE abuse, how the hell are they going to police a spank on the bottom? If Ciara is throwing one of her world renowned tantis in Pick ‘n Pay and I give her a smack on the behind, am I going to end up behind bars? How ludicrous. Instead of one social worker to 30 cases, it will now be one social worker to 100 cases, or more. Feels like we are going backwards, neh?
But then I sat and thought about it for a while, and realised what these laws are really about.
They are about that father who claims that he broke his 3 year old childs arm in the process of disciplining her.
They are about that mother who killed her child with a wallop on the head, and claims to have been disciplining him.
They are about that new mother who has grown so frustrated and tired that she shakes her baby to death, claiming "trying to discipline".
They are about all those people out there who cannot understand that their is a huge difference between a spank on the bottom and a hit to the head with a baseball bat.
Most of us have enough common sense to know that beating our children is not okay. Unfortunately there are too many who don’t have any common sense at all - and burning kids with cigarettes seems a perfectly acceptable way to teach your child something.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Homework - Kerryn
Sheesh Bridge, ask some hard ones why don’t ya!!
1. What was your biggest disappointment when you found out you were pregnant and how did you cope with it?
Because Ciara wasn’t planned and I wasn’t married, my biggest disappointment was to myself and my partner. We were not ready for her, and there were many, many things we still wanted to do (travel, enjoy our twenties!) I always wanted kids, but just not right then!
I had to accept the reality was that I was with child and I could either love it or hate it. I made a conscious choice to love it, and really enjoyed my pregnancy after that!
2. How have you managed, if you have, to retain the friendships of childless friends?
Most of my friends have children of their own, which makes it easier. Some childless friends don’t really mind that I have a kid, and some are more reluctant. Really, nothing much has changed in our relationship.
3. Have you acknowledged the mistakes you have made in raising your child, to your child?
My biggest, worst and most difficult to stop mistake is that I am incredibly impatient. I have no problem apologising to Ciara when I react impatiently towards her. I have to keep reminding myself that she is only seven. As of today I am not aware of any other "big" mistakes I’ve made. Ask me again when she’s 15, and I’m sure I’ll have a long, long, long list!
4. What is the best thing your kid's other parent has said about your parenting?
After we first separated, and he spent his first day alone with her. He told me he has a lot more respect for what I do day in and day out. He never realised how tiring being a parent was.
5. What is the worst?
Where shall I start. Lol, just kidding. Not much really. He says I baby her too much, but I honestly don’t think that’s a bad thing!
1. What was your biggest disappointment when you found out you were pregnant and how did you cope with it?
Because Ciara wasn’t planned and I wasn’t married, my biggest disappointment was to myself and my partner. We were not ready for her, and there were many, many things we still wanted to do (travel, enjoy our twenties!) I always wanted kids, but just not right then!
I had to accept the reality was that I was with child and I could either love it or hate it. I made a conscious choice to love it, and really enjoyed my pregnancy after that!
2. How have you managed, if you have, to retain the friendships of childless friends?
Most of my friends have children of their own, which makes it easier. Some childless friends don’t really mind that I have a kid, and some are more reluctant. Really, nothing much has changed in our relationship.
3. Have you acknowledged the mistakes you have made in raising your child, to your child?
My biggest, worst and most difficult to stop mistake is that I am incredibly impatient. I have no problem apologising to Ciara when I react impatiently towards her. I have to keep reminding myself that she is only seven. As of today I am not aware of any other "big" mistakes I’ve made. Ask me again when she’s 15, and I’m sure I’ll have a long, long, long list!
4. What is the best thing your kid's other parent has said about your parenting?
After we first separated, and he spent his first day alone with her. He told me he has a lot more respect for what I do day in and day out. He never realised how tiring being a parent was.
5. What is the worst?
Where shall I start. Lol, just kidding. Not much really. He says I baby her too much, but I honestly don’t think that’s a bad thing!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Homework Week 2
A belated welcome to the new moms. Seems our little group is getting bigger, yay!
1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?
I had a fairly normal birth. I drove myself to the doctor on the morning of 8 Jan 2001, and the doctor said I was ready to induce. I then went to the hospital with my mom, was induced (which totally sucked), in labour for 12 hours, and then my angel arrived without much fanfare!
2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
I had no weird craving, but ate so much extra butter microwave popcorn that I didn't touch the stuff again for about two years after that!
3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
I chose not to find out the sex of the baby. I always had Ciara for a girl, and was considering Nathan if she had been a boy.
4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
How constantly tiring it is. How I get home from a hard days work, exhausted and a little under the weather and she jumps on me to say hello, and all I want to do is fall down on my bed and sleep for 12 hours, but I know I can't.
5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
I can be very emotionally distant. I have closed myself off emotionally to prevent myself from getting hurt. With Ciara, I can't do that. I love her so much that I sometimes feel a physical ache. She is my entire world. I often wonder what I did with my time before she was there?
6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
Don't worry too much about it, it really does come naturally. Don't let your toddler use filthy words, it is NOT cute. Teach your children compassion from an early age. Love them with all your being. Let them know every day that there is nothing they could ever do that would make you stop loving them. Let your children be children for as long as they want.
1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?
I had a fairly normal birth. I drove myself to the doctor on the morning of 8 Jan 2001, and the doctor said I was ready to induce. I then went to the hospital with my mom, was induced (which totally sucked), in labour for 12 hours, and then my angel arrived without much fanfare!
2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
I had no weird craving, but ate so much extra butter microwave popcorn that I didn't touch the stuff again for about two years after that!
3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
I chose not to find out the sex of the baby. I always had Ciara for a girl, and was considering Nathan if she had been a boy.
4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
How constantly tiring it is. How I get home from a hard days work, exhausted and a little under the weather and she jumps on me to say hello, and all I want to do is fall down on my bed and sleep for 12 hours, but I know I can't.
5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
I can be very emotionally distant. I have closed myself off emotionally to prevent myself from getting hurt. With Ciara, I can't do that. I love her so much that I sometimes feel a physical ache. She is my entire world. I often wonder what I did with my time before she was there?
6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
Don't worry too much about it, it really does come naturally. Don't let your toddler use filthy words, it is NOT cute. Teach your children compassion from an early age. Love them with all your being. Let them know every day that there is nothing they could ever do that would make you stop loving them. Let your children be children for as long as they want.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Introducing Ciara
1. Post a picture of your kid.
2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.
I have absolutely no sense of colour coordination or interior design. I just can't see it when colours don't 'go'.
I'm a 'toy' junkie. I love electronics and kids toys. I can't help myself.
I love maths :-)
3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.
Ciara is seven and still sleeps in my bed. She is afraid to put her head under water. I still bath her every night. She loves to read and can read almost fluently. She's the best kid I could ever have wished for.
4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?
"Mothers are all slightly insane" ~ J.D. Salinger
5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)
Don't really have one. If I really had to pick, I guess I would say Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Garner.
6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?
Hmm, my maternal instinct would be that her heart never got broken. But that teaches us something. I guess it would be that she got to live a full, and wonderful life, complete with sorrow and heartbreak but emerge from her teens and twenties a happy and centred human being who was kept safe until she dies peacefully in her sleep from natural causes with all her faculties at 85.
2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.
I have absolutely no sense of colour coordination or interior design. I just can't see it when colours don't 'go'.
I'm a 'toy' junkie. I love electronics and kids toys. I can't help myself.
I love maths :-)
3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.
Ciara is seven and still sleeps in my bed. She is afraid to put her head under water. I still bath her every night. She loves to read and can read almost fluently. She's the best kid I could ever have wished for.
4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?
"Mothers are all slightly insane" ~ J.D. Salinger
5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)
Don't really have one. If I really had to pick, I guess I would say Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Garner.
6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?
Hmm, my maternal instinct would be that her heart never got broken. But that teaches us something. I guess it would be that she got to live a full, and wonderful life, complete with sorrow and heartbreak but emerge from her teens and twenties a happy and centred human being who was kept safe until she dies peacefully in her sleep from natural causes with all her faculties at 85.
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