you guys will just love this!!!

all your worst fears confirmed...

When I Was Knocked Up...

the things I worried about were:

• 
  
  haemmorhoids - I'd heard about then, all other mothers had warned me about 'the grapes of wrath' and I was told they were inevitable. Thank god, they actually weren't inevitable. At least not for me. I never got to experience the wonders of bits of my colon protruding from me bumhole.


• 
  
  constipation - apparently another one of the beautiful side effects of hatching something inside you. Also something I never experienced.


• 
  
  the birth - I wanted to have a natural birth, with no drugs. I was worried about tearing. I was worried about ripping. I was worried about having to be cut. I was worried about what some people have described as 'pushing a watermelon through your nose'. Turns out, I needn't have worried. I had to have an emergency c-section anyway.


• 
  
  writing exams - yes, I was still pursuing my masters degree and my exams were set to take place 2 weeks before I was due to pop. Madness, huh? I attended all my lectures, did all my assignments and got two A's, 2B's and came top of my class in Media Law. How, you might ask? I dont bloody know.


• 
  
  smoking - yes, I know smoking is bad for your baby. Yes, I know smoking is bad for my own health, and I did quit for a good few months. But when exams rolled around, I was chain-smoking like a maniac. And you know what? My kid came out absolutely fine.


• 
  
  how I would cope - people never really tell you how hard this shit is. How frustrating and mind-numbingly boring it can be. How painful it can be. People are quick to offer advice, but they dont really tell the truth. 'It will get easier/better' they told me. Yes. Okay. Fair enough. But WHEN??


• 
  
  that I was going to be 'someone's mother' - No longer just me, but 'The Kid's Mommy'. A bit of an identity crisis, you might say. Someone's mother. For the rest of my life. Hoever long that might be.


• 
  
  that I wasn't going to bond with my baby - you hear those stories about those women who reject their baies or feel nothing for them once they're born. I was terrifid I was going to be one of them. Scary shit. But it didn't happen. Until a bit later, when post-natal depression hit, and sometimes, just sometimes it felt like I could really just hurt him or do something drastic, if he doesn't stop fucking crying. We all have our days, I guess.

Yes, mothers-to-be. It's fucking hard work. It's sleepless nights, crying babies, crying mommies, shitty nappies, fighting with your partner, visiting the doctor, worrying, guilt, stress, shitty nappies, vomiting, fighting with your partner, breaking things, throwing tantrums and feeling like you're the worst mother on the planet.

But it passes.

Or so I'm told.

A Mamameea Assignment...

I worried about very little- physically that is- during my pregnancy.
I don't remember having nightmares about a stillbirth or a miscarriage or anything like that.
Maybe it was because I was practically still a kid myself, but the nightmares I could have had didn't occur to me. Like worrying about whether my baby would be whole or healthy... I just took it for granted that he would be.
The worries I did have were how I was going to cope as a single teenage mom... how I was going to do right by my son and my family.
And of course how I would handle having no contact with my son's paternal family and how I was going to explain all that to him in time.

My advice to newly expectant moms, or new moms... would be to ask for help if you think you need it.
Don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions, or call someone in the middle of the night if you're worried about something.
Your doctor may have heard the same questions over and over again- but that doesn't make it any less of a concern to you.

Right. An update.

'Sup!

So, Exmi has asked me to babysit this here blog. I don't actually think she knows what she's doing giving me permissions and all, but hey - I will try not abuse it. Even though I'm locked out of my own blog. She's a lawyer lady, so has a major thesis on the go, and is busy busy busy. Lets give her a round of applause for hard work, ladies!

I propose a new homework task. Each mother does a post that is different to the last post posted. Got it? maybe a little less repetitiveness will liven this blog up a little bit.

Also, are there any readers out there that aren't contributers? Make yourself known, don't be shy. Questions, discussions, whatever - you are most welcome to get involved.