More Badness Revealed

1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid(s)?
That nothing happened the way I’d planned it. I was adamant I was going to have a natural birth with no drugs (yeah, right). But instead, after having been induced twice, and labour not progressing beyond the first stage, my doctor told me I’d have to have a caesarian. I couldn’t be awake throughout the procedure, as I couldn’t have the spinal block because the gaps in my spine were not big enough. So I had a general anaesthetic, and was knocked out for my son’s birth.

I do, however, remember my reaction upon being handed my baby once I was awake later. I thought ‘oh my god. That’s a funny looking kid’. I’d been watching ‘Birth Stories’ on the Reality Zone channel, and was all expecting to be like ‘oh my god, he’s so beautiful’ like all those mothers were, but it didn’t happen for me. Does anyone really think their baby is gorgeous straight away, or are they just pretending because they think that that’s what is expected of them?

2.What weird cravings did you have, if any?

No weird combinations. And nothing outlandish. I’ve heard some women crave coal while they’re knocked up. Weird. I just ate as much of everything that I could. I did get one 2am craving for pink Supermoo (for those who don’t know what that is, it’s a strawberry milkshake) which is kinda weird because I hate dairy. I also ate a lot of salami (again, weird, because I’m vegetarian). And I was very fond of mashed potatoes.

3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

Tristan. And if it was a girl, it was going to be Tamara. You see, the initials had to be TR. I’m TR, my dad is TR, he wanted it to be like a family tradition kinda thing. The second name was decided right from the beginning ‘Riley’ and was applicable to a boy or girl. But I knew it was going to be a boy. My boyfriend didn’t like Tristan, so we settled on Troy. Troy Riley Shepherd.

4. What's the hardest thing about being a mommy?

No sleep. Learning patience. I am the most impatient person in the world, and trying to be patient with a crying baby while all I wanted to do was sleep was really hard. It’s also really hard when he cries and I have no idea what he wants. I’ve been told that each cry means something, but I’ll be buggered if I’ve figured out what they mean.

5. How did becoming a mommy change you?

Most obviously, it’s changed my body. There are curves where there never used to be. I’m a lot bigger than I used to be (okay, I did have my baby two months ago). I’ve had to learn to be patient. Because I’m so patient with The Kid, I have little patience left over for other people. My temper with others is very short, and I take my frustration out on strangers, instead of on The Kid. But honestly, being a mommy didn’t change me as much as I thought it would. I’m still pretty irresponsible, and still don’t feel like an adult. I keep thinking that this is like one long babysitting stint, and I keep waiting for the real mommy to come fetch her child. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Kid, but it hasn’t really sunk in that I’M HIS MOTHER. If you know what I mean.

6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
Be prepared to change your plans. Be more flexible. And if you’ve made up your mind about something, don’t let anyone bully you into changing it, only change it because you want to. Be prepared for people to walk up to you in the supermarket and ask you ‘when are you due?’ and ‘boy or girl?’ and to ask to touch. You don’t have to let them touch. Be firm, but polite in your refusal. Or you could do what I did. When people asked me when I was due (in the early months of my pregnancy) I pretended to be offended and said ‘I know I’ve put on a bit of weight over winter, but sheesh, I didn’t think it was that much!’ and then stormed away.

But most important – remember it’s your child; therefore it’s your rules. Don’t let others interfere.