really... more homework already?

Only my second day here and I'm already behind... Lets catch up and learn a little more about this bad mommy and her wonderful family...

What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?

I always hear that the pain of childbirth fades from your memory... that in time what you're left with is that perfect memory of your child in your arms... Isn't that sweet? Isn't it comforting? It is, isn't it? It's also total bullshit.

What I remember the very most is a great overwhelming sense of relief that K was out, alive and over 5 pounds. I had a complicated pregnancy and an awful delivery so the fact that she made it out in one perfect little piece and slightly bigger than expected... I just remember the relief. I wish I could say it was pride or joy but it wasn't. Relief.

I won't bore/terrify you with the details of my daughters delivery today, it's a tale in and of its self... But I will tell you that if you're preparing to give birth you need to expect the unexpected.

What weird cravings did you have, if any?

I had no weird cravings but I had plenty of aversions. I lost weight in my first trimester and then was barely able to gain an acceptable amount in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. The smell of things I normally loved tended to make me very ill.

What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

If K had been a boy we would have had a hard time picking a name. We loved Paul and Maximilian among others but there were never any other options for a girl.

What's the hardest part about being a mommy?

For me the hardest part of being a mommy, at first, was accepting that breast feeding didn't work for K and I. We tried and tired but she was so tiny that there was a great need to get her eating well and fast... she was so tiny and she had such a difficult time suckling. When we discussed it with the lactation consultant she did her best to make me feel like a horrible person because I wanted to give her formula to ensure she was being nourished. It was heart breaking for me and I was still emotionally drained from the pregnancy and delivery. I was unstable. I was in pain. Luckily I had Mr. Kaos' love and support and enough common sense to discuss the situation with K's pediatrician and my doctor.

The hardest part when K was 3 was dealing with her "I hate you" period. No ones mentions how hard 3 year olds can be. You hear about the terrible 2's but I didn't think 2 was all that bad. It was three that saw K lobbing insults and injury at me. It's hard not to crumble when you live with a tiny evil tyrant...

The hardest part now is being me. Being Cami. Being my own person while being her mother. It is all too easy to give in to being a wife and a mother completely and forget what makes you, you. I did that for a while and it was hard to come back from.

How did becoming a mommy change you?

I can't even begin to tell you.

What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?

Drink lemon water if you're still swollen when you get home from the hospital... Talk to your doctor if you feel overwhelmed or depressed. Don't let crazy people touch your belly.

Homework Week 2

A belated welcome to the new moms. Seems our little group is getting bigger, yay!


1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?
I had a fairly normal birth. I drove myself to the doctor on the morning of 8 Jan 2001, and the doctor said I was ready to induce. I then went to the hospital with my mom, was induced (which totally sucked), in labour for 12 hours, and then my angel arrived without much fanfare!

2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
I had no weird craving, but ate so much extra butter microwave popcorn that I didn't touch the stuff again for about two years after that!

3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
I chose not to find out the sex of the baby. I always had Ciara for a girl, and was considering Nathan if she had been a boy.

4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
How constantly tiring it is. How I get home from a hard days work, exhausted and a little under the weather and she jumps on me to say hello, and all I want to do is fall down on my bed and sleep for 12 hours, but I know I can't.

5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
I can be very emotionally distant. I have closed myself off emotionally to prevent myself from getting hurt. With Ciara, I can't do that. I love her so much that I sometimes feel a physical ache. She is my entire world. I often wonder what I did with my time before she was there?

6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
Don't worry too much about it, it really does come naturally. Don't let your toddler use filthy words, it is NOT cute. Teach your children compassion from an early age. Love them with all your being. Let them know every day that there is nothing they could ever do that would make you stop loving them. Let your children be children for as long as they want.

about stephanie, the bad mom with documentation

I'm coming from my personal blog that I started last year and named "bad mom" because of a note my then-4-year old son left me after I had done something quite egregious. It's a thrill to now know a) there are bad moms worldwide who freely discuss their shortcomings with glee and b) I've been invited to play with you all.

It's not part of the official introductory homework, but I'll tell you some other stuff anyway - I'm a teacher at an alternative high school (I am all about bad, apparently; although many of my students are delightful and not [too] bad), have been married almost 15 years (in a row, to the same guy), and would eat pizza every night for dinner if it weren't so socially unacceptable (and expensive).

Thanks for having me. Enjoy my badness.

1. Post a picture of your kids.

Mason the carnivore, age 9

Paige the lover of all things stuffed & cute, age 7

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

Well if you looked at my other blog, you'd kinda know most stuff; perhaps I should be less forthcoming over there. Hmmm. How about - I had a huge crush on James Dean all through college; I bite my hangnails constantly; I always read while I brush my teeth.

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kids.

The boy: weighed 4 lbs. when he was born; can do startlingly (and sometimes annoyingly) accurate impressions of people and animals; remembers outrageously trivial pieces of information yet frequently forgets things we've told him 30 seconds before; writes beautifully in cursive; loves watching Singin' in the Rain

The girl: sucks the pointer & middle fingers of her left hand; can add & multiply off the top of her head frighteningly fast; adores The Beatles; is skilled at putting together jigsaw puzzles; loves word searches

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life. ~ Robertson Davies

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

I really like Kate Winslet (and secretly pretend to be her when I'm out & about; if I were braver I would affect an English accent with the grocery clerk) - she looks lovely & charming yet slightly harried whenever she's doing regular mom things. And I find it refreshing that I couldn't pick her kids out of a line-up because she refuses to parade them around like trendy souvenirs.

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kids, what would it be?

For them to feel confident in their own abilities. It seems that would help a lot during the dreaded peer pressure moments. And, frankly, take some work off my shoulders (this is about being a bad mom, right?)

say hello to CamiKaos...

Hi, I'm CamiKaos... I'm new to The Bad Mommy Blog but not new to the bad mommy game... I've had six years to perfect my parenting (okay so perfect isn't what I would call my parenting skills but isn't that the point of this blog?) and though it's sometimes been a bumpy road, I wouldn't trade a moment of it...

When I was asked to join these other lovely bad mom's I received some instructions that spelled out for me how to begin and so with our further ado my Bad Mommy Homework 1... it's a little late but I hope it makes the grade.

Post a picture of your kid.

this is K. Yes she really is that dramatic.

Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

Well since you probably wouldn't know anything about me at all unless I told you I can pretty much say anything I want here can't I? I could tell you that I always have my toe nails painted because I feel sexy and sassy that way. I can tell you that I have a crippling cherry coke addiction. I can tel you that I'm not wearing any shoes right now. There. Three things, easy.

Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.

Again... I can say anything here... wild inventions, honest truths, quirky traits. But lets go with... She loves superheroes. She loves to have her toes nails painted too. Her favorite meal is salt crusted talapia, rice and broccoli.

What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

This is life.

Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

I don't have one. I find that in this day and age we, as a society, put far too much emphasis on famous people as our heroes and role models and not nearly enough on "regular" people. My mommy role models are my mother, my aunt and my ex house mate who was a single mom and doing one hell of a job raising a great kid.

If you could have one wish granted for your kid, what would it be?

There was one thing my parents always said they wanted for me as I was growing up... my happiness. That is truly what I wish for my daughter. I long and happy life.

Is that it? that wasn't so tough... homework shmomework... We'll talk again soon

xoxo- CamiKaos

More Badness Revealed

1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid(s)?
That nothing happened the way I’d planned it. I was adamant I was going to have a natural birth with no drugs (yeah, right). But instead, after having been induced twice, and labour not progressing beyond the first stage, my doctor told me I’d have to have a caesarian. I couldn’t be awake throughout the procedure, as I couldn’t have the spinal block because the gaps in my spine were not big enough. So I had a general anaesthetic, and was knocked out for my son’s birth.

I do, however, remember my reaction upon being handed my baby once I was awake later. I thought ‘oh my god. That’s a funny looking kid’. I’d been watching ‘Birth Stories’ on the Reality Zone channel, and was all expecting to be like ‘oh my god, he’s so beautiful’ like all those mothers were, but it didn’t happen for me. Does anyone really think their baby is gorgeous straight away, or are they just pretending because they think that that’s what is expected of them?

2.What weird cravings did you have, if any?

No weird combinations. And nothing outlandish. I’ve heard some women crave coal while they’re knocked up. Weird. I just ate as much of everything that I could. I did get one 2am craving for pink Supermoo (for those who don’t know what that is, it’s a strawberry milkshake) which is kinda weird because I hate dairy. I also ate a lot of salami (again, weird, because I’m vegetarian). And I was very fond of mashed potatoes.

3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

Tristan. And if it was a girl, it was going to be Tamara. You see, the initials had to be TR. I’m TR, my dad is TR, he wanted it to be like a family tradition kinda thing. The second name was decided right from the beginning ‘Riley’ and was applicable to a boy or girl. But I knew it was going to be a boy. My boyfriend didn’t like Tristan, so we settled on Troy. Troy Riley Shepherd.

4. What's the hardest thing about being a mommy?

No sleep. Learning patience. I am the most impatient person in the world, and trying to be patient with a crying baby while all I wanted to do was sleep was really hard. It’s also really hard when he cries and I have no idea what he wants. I’ve been told that each cry means something, but I’ll be buggered if I’ve figured out what they mean.

5. How did becoming a mommy change you?

Most obviously, it’s changed my body. There are curves where there never used to be. I’m a lot bigger than I used to be (okay, I did have my baby two months ago). I’ve had to learn to be patient. Because I’m so patient with The Kid, I have little patience left over for other people. My temper with others is very short, and I take my frustration out on strangers, instead of on The Kid. But honestly, being a mommy didn’t change me as much as I thought it would. I’m still pretty irresponsible, and still don’t feel like an adult. I keep thinking that this is like one long babysitting stint, and I keep waiting for the real mommy to come fetch her child. Don’t get me wrong, I love The Kid, but it hasn’t really sunk in that I’M HIS MOTHER. If you know what I mean.

6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
Be prepared to change your plans. Be more flexible. And if you’ve made up your mind about something, don’t let anyone bully you into changing it, only change it because you want to. Be prepared for people to walk up to you in the supermarket and ask you ‘when are you due?’ and ‘boy or girl?’ and to ask to touch. You don’t have to let them touch. Be firm, but polite in your refusal. Or you could do what I did. When people asked me when I was due (in the early months of my pregnancy) I pretended to be offended and said ‘I know I’ve put on a bit of weight over winter, but sheesh, I didn’t think it was that much!’ and then stormed away.

But most important – remember it’s your child; therefore it’s your rules. Don’t let others interfere.

home work...

1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kids?

kay, it took 18 hours to push that boy out the natural way... argh... but it was unbelievable, most mom's don't experience the natural way and mother nature takes over, quite incredible

jay... it took met 6... epidural, i remember being very scared...

with both i was just hugely glad that both were normal.


2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?

with kay i had no cravings, but with jay i made myself beans, potato and onion mix every single day with loads of pepper...


3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

i thought kay was a girl (no sonars back then, or not so available as today) and wanted to call "her" Jessie, with Jay I liked Jason.


4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?

the responsibility of being a single mom is overwhelming at times, i worry that i'm not giving them everything that they should have.


5. How did becoming a mommy change you?

good question! i became the opposite of selfish...


6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?

don't sweat the small stuff!

I Did My Bad Mommy Homework - Week 2

1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?
Contrary to what seems to be popular belief about those first moments of a child’s birth and instinctual bonding and and and... I remember very little about when Damien was born. My mom says they gave him to me after I delivered and whilst they cut the chord and I held him and said he was beautiful- but the last thing I remember clearly is when my OBGYN said to me “look!” and as Damien was crowning all I saw was a mass of wet black hair! It was gawjiss! I wish I remembered more... anyone know if hypnosis works?

2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
I didn’t really have cravings, not the type that send people out at 3am hunting for obscure culinary combinations... but I did eat a lot of Marie Biscuits! My second pregnancy... it was undeniably a craving for seafood, albeit short lived! I was quite astounded by the intensity of the need for fish and shellfish of any kind, samples in Pick ‘n Pay, on a pizza... anything!

3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
I loved “Damien” from the start. In fact, even before I fell pregnant I wanted to name my first son Damien. Damien’s father liked the name “Randy”, and if it was a girl he would have been either “Rochelle” or “Ronique”. There was no doubt in my mind though that he was a boy and I spoke to him as “Damien” from early on already.

4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
Um... is it still called infanticide if your child is already a teenager...?
Kidding.
The challenges are different all through your child’s life. It depends largely on how you raise your kidlets and how you handle things.
For me- I think the hardest part is Damien testing his boundaries. Trying to push my buttons to see how far he can get. And believe me when I tell you bunnies- all kidlets start doing this before they can talk and it never ever ends!

5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
Hhhmmm... how did it change me... well for one thing- as I was 17 when he was born I suddenly had to grow up REAL fast! I also have a dreadful temper and I’m immensely selfish- and I have to try and curb those feelings ALL the time. They’re still there, still a part of me, I have just kinda learned to suppress them. I mean, I cannot have myself going into a literally blind rage like I did at school if I get upset with Damien. I might do something I regret...

6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
If you’re not pregnant yet... wait. And then wait some more. There is never a “right time” to have a baby, but having a baby at the “wrong time” is REALLY REALLY easy!
If you’re already pregnant- make peace with the fact that your life will take a backseat to a large degree, for quite a long time.
Oh, and all those people who suddenly think they can touch you because you have a baby bump- just tell them they can’t!
Don’t let ANYONE kiss your baby!
And as for all the advice and ass-vice you WILL receive as a mommy and as mom-to-be, pay as much attention to it as the amount of money you paid to receive it!

Mommy not so dear!

Ok, I’ll expand on this because I need to make it a blog now. Seems like the Blog Administrator is a bit of a tyrant who was not going to have any of my short cuts! So Moved it from comments ya’ll dig?

1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid(s)?
1 - I induced the birth of The Pickle because I had exams coming up and wanted it out of the way. Don’t worry all, I did it in controlled medical conditions.

2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
2 - I lived on Nando's extra-hot. Which I would chase with kiwis and litchis. This was utterly strange, but I loved it.

3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
3 - I didn't settle on the name. The Dingbat kinda forced it on me. I wanted to call me bebe Denise. I love the name Denise, so many funky nick-names can come out of it. But The Dingbat looked like she was going to cry if I didn’t name my child after her favorite aunt. Luckily the name was not too hideous.

4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
4 - Having to put someone else's needs before your own. And waiting for them to become the nightmare you were to your parents. This is truly scary. I was telling Sheena about my brief stint as a member of The Sweethearts back in my youth. It was a totally lame gang, skinheads and on the Ku Klux Klan! I shudder to think what The Pickle will get herself into!

5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
5 - I never gave it a chance to really change me. It's only now that I am taking baby steps. For those who don’t know, it’s the first time I am living with my child full-time since she was 1.5-years-old.

6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?
6 - If you want a child. Wait a couple of years. If you still want one then, get yourself into counseling for a year. If you still want one after that, don't expect the benefits to outweigh the sacrifices. This is not necessarily a bad thing, I’m just telling you that there are no standing ovations for your triumphs but you can be guaranteed an appreciative audience for your failures.

Bad Mommy Homework - Week 2

Again, this week's task takes the form of a questionaire.


1. What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid(s)?
2. What weird cravings did you have, if any?
3. What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?
4. What's the hardest part about being a mommy?
5. How did becoming a mommy change you?
6. What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?

Post Secret

I am a regular at Post Secret. The things other people have to confess really make me shiver. These couple of postcards really struck me. Thought I would share.






(Pictures come from PostSecret)