free fings... sweets

The question for the week: What 3 things do you do, as a mother, that goes against all the books?

1. I gave Kay a drag of my cigarette when he asked once, i still don't know if i should have or shouldn't have...


2. I let my kids drive my car (while sitting on my lap) i do the peddles and they do the steering.


3. When the boys have friends over for a sleepover I let them stay up all night... so i send back very tired and very cranky kids to their moms... i know... bad!

Three things I should feel guilty about, but don't

This is short and sweet from me this week...

1. I have never, ever considered using cloth nappies.

2. Jackson and I have crazy play just before bedtime, I know we should be quiet and all, but it's just SO MUCH MORE FUN to be loud and raucous.

3. I let Jackson have sips of wine, beer, champagne...whatever I'm drinking at the time. I always think that I am vaguely Italian while I am doing it because in Italy they give their children watered down wine with supper from a very early age.

Oh man, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I am a bad Mommy.

Three Frowns For Bad Mommy

Keeping this list to three things I do that could be frowned upon was tough. Pretty much everything I do could probably be frowned upon. Fakkit, I'm doing more than 3.

1. I dont use bum cream every time I change his nappy. Actually, hardly ever. Only when he has a red bum.
2. I leave him unattended while I go outside and smoke. I leave him on the lounge floor, surrounded by toys and open plug points and cables.
3. I let my child suck the dog's pigs ear chew toy. Twice.
4. Sometimes I am too lazy to sterilise bottles, so just rinse out before using.
5. I let my child suck the floor tiles and drink bath water.
6. I sit my child in his Bumbo on the kitchen counter and leave him unattended while running his bath. He has fallen out once.
7. I left my child unattended on my bed. He fell off.
8. I left my child unattended on the changing table. He fell off.
9. I let my child eat dog biscuits.
10. I let my child gum my keys, even though they're probably the most germ-infested objects in the world.
11. If The Kid's dummy falls on the floor, I pop it in my mouth, give it a suck and hand it back to him. Apparently this should not be done.

How does that score on the badness scale?

3 things that could be frowned upon

My homework:

I smack

Don't hate me: I smack sometimes. Very occasionally. But yes, I smack. All the books say you shouldn’t. My heart tells me I shouldn’t. But I smack sometimes when things are getting out of hand. Like when Jonah bites Hannah because he feels like it, or when James taunts Hannah or Jonah because he can, or when James refuses, point blank, to tidy his room after I’ve asked him 50 times to do so, and then when he does, it’s with such an attitude that he throws things.

I let my kids eat a biscuit when they wake up

It all started as something I did when I was pregnant. I was avoiding coffee, so the only thing that would wake me up was a sugary biscuit. The children caught onto it and now it’s a tradition: they wake up, come into our bedroom and have a biscuit before they go and play.

I allow my children way too much leeway in the Sleeping-On-Their-Own department

James slept in our room, in a cot, until he was almost 2. Hannah slept in our bed until she was almost 3. Jonah has recently been moved to his own bed in James’s room but he has yet to spend an entire night there. I’ve also allowed them to manipulate me into lying next to them until they fall asleep: we did that with James and Hannah until they were 3. I just heard from my dad that he doesn’t do that when he babysits: he gives Jonah his bottle and then walks out of the room. Funny how he gets it right but I can’t…

To PET or NOT to PET

I watched as Max's tiny little body floated to the top ............of the fish bowl.......
Bon Voyage dear little friend.

I have on several occasions had to experience saying goodbye to my children's pets.

It is said that getting your children pets teaches them responsibility as well as how to deal with death.

I remember accidentally driving over my 10 year old dog. Oh my word it all plays back in slow mode to me. Everyone was standing outside it was horrific, (there was no blood just a quick bump and a silent death) and in a few seconds it was over my child came running down the drive way shouting "mommy why did you kill a family member" TALK about GUILT. This Bad mommy sobbed for days.

With the death of Max, my son all of a sudden took interest and BAM poor max was being paraded through the house on a fish net. It would have been fine if he was taken around for final farewells but no it was as if MAX had now become the science project before being flushed.

What exactly are we teaching our kids and when do we say NO MORE PETS.

I mean it is MOMMY who gets attached to the pets, and even though we tell our kids its your responsibility - its mommy that feeds the pet, potty trains the pet and picks ups all the POOP.

"Come and feed the cats... NOW" I have found this a common phrase used in our household. "BUT MOOOooom its your cats..." you see all of a sudden its mine.
Then my son came home "mom SO and SO has a snake i want a snake or a tarantula and if i cannot get one i will DIE.......... " well i tell you this is it I want to know from the other MOMMIES:

What is your opinion on pets - and your children's role in the new family members life. AND when do you say NO and HOW do you say NO to hairy and scaly pets without destroying your sons dreams of becoming a Nature conservationist.

look foward to hearing from you all.

Yiddy

rebel yell & other bad mom doings

The question for the week: What 3 things do you do, as a mother, that goes against all the books?

1. I can be a yeller and have been known to even swear a tad. It's often ineffectual (except in generating fear) and it makes me look like a lunatic, but sometimes it's all I can do to avoid breaking things.

2. Leave my kids home alone for up to an hour after school. They are 9 & 8 and I'm pretty sure it's legal but most moms around here would lose their minds about this. [For the record, I do call to check in and make sure they've locked the door, and usually there is a trustworthy neighbor available]

3. Allow ice cream, cake, pizza, or chocolate chips with breakfast. Usually there is a waffle or oatmeal involved with one of those items, but sometimes we just call it good if any food has been consumed in the morning.

And now I'm going to go do #4 which is take a long hot bath wearing ear plugs...

What Worked For You?

I know a mommy with a new baby girl. The kid is colicky and cries constantly. We've all been there, we all know what it's like.

So, I want to know - what worked for you? What was your miracle cure?

I'm going to collect all the answers, and send them to her, just so she has a bunch of options to try.

(you may reply to this as a comment - ie: this question is thrown wide to contributors and readers alike)

3 things that could be frowned upon

The question for the week: What 3 things do you do, as a mother, that goes against all the books?

Here are mine:
1. Kids get chips, or whatever is readily available, to eat to tide them over until dinner is ready. My mom would NEVER have done that! The problem is that I can never get home early enough to have supper ready in time, and I'd rather they not scream the place down while I'm cooking.

2. I leave the kids to play in the bath, and fetch things from the rooms. Yes, even the little one! How the heck are you supposed to stay in the bathroom if you've forgotten to get jarmies or a vest? It's too cold at the moment to dress them in their rooms. OK, I'm not that bad... I haven't been doing this for long with the little one!

3. We don't have a staircase gate. And that's probably why Connor can already climb the stairs. This does give me the heebie jeebies at times especially when he starts running at full steam for the top of the staircase, but nothing has happened so far (touch wood), and we are always upstairs with him.

I've restricted it to 3, so that I don't get carried away! LOL!

These I Can't Do...

It's late, sorry... but since I have been wracking my brain about what to put on this here list of 7-mommy-related-simply-can't-do-things, I am going to post it no matter what!
Naturally as Damien gets older, it gets easier and easier to do things I couldn’t do before… So I’m going to go back in time, and jump around a little, to things I couldn’t do before but can do now and vice-versa. And a lot of these are on the other mommy’s lists too... I knew I shouldn't have read them before I did mine!!

...I’ll start with sleeping in, especially with Damien! He would get up to all kinds of mischief if he was awake alone, including painting my pet rat, Loopy- and his cage- green when he was 4 years old. And of course attempting to make himself breakfast- resulting in a milk-and-rice-crispy-coated kitchen and a floor sticky with sugar! And no matter how many times, or how I tried, I never could get him to come and wake me when he woke up!

…shop just for me... even now with the knucklehead taller than me and 17 years old. Like a lot of mommies out there- my Angel to Damien purchase ratio is on average about 1-3.

…watch age-restricted movies! For a long time, and now still to a degree, I couldn’t rent a DVD if it had an age restriction older than Damien was. Another single mom neighbour friend and I used to make it a treat night for us to share a supper with the two of us and our two boys, rent a movie for them and one for us to watch when they had either gone to bed or were safely ensconced behind a bucket of LEGO and a closed door with snacky things and a small supply of cool drink. Of course the remote was close at hand to pause if one of them came out of the room…

…go on spontaneous outings or parties, or change my plans at the last minute… especially if I had organised a baby-sitter for Damien. If I had organised an overnight stay for him somewhere it was even harder to change my plans! And of course with a little Damien I would inevitably not have enough “stuff” to just stay late whenever I felt like it.

…not check up on him. I just cannot assume he’s fine, no matter what he’s doing or where he is. At least I don’t call him when he’s at school- but I STILL double check to make sure he’s had his meds and done his homework. I ask him every morning if he’s packed his bags for the day and if he has everything he needs for school. I know I know… I’m a nag! But I’m not going to make excuses for either of us- this is how it must be, okay!??

…stop researching Damien’s AD/HD. He goes through good phases and rough ones, and we deal with each one as it happens… but I never stop reading up on it. I have several books on the subject and I receive about 5 parenting e-news letters dealing with AD/HD and I attend seminars and talks when I can.

…not wonder if I could have or can do more…

7 things I can no longer do now that I'm a mommy

I know I'm a bit late, but here's my homework for last week! I'll post this week's homework tomorrow night.

Ummm, this ended up being more difficult than I thought it would be.

1. Go to the loo without having an audience! Just when the oldest one stopped being fascinated by me on the loo, I went and had another child!

2. Do crafts. I went to the most wonderful fabric painting classes on Saturdays pre Bradley... which entailed loads of wine and chatting. In fact the more wine that flowed, the more creative the painting! But that stopped when Bradley got mobile, and I haven't been able to go to a craft workshop since then.

3. Complete a conversation with friends. I'm really hoping that I'll remember how to complete a sentence by the time the kids let me talk again.

4. Shop for myself. This wasn't a problem until Connor was born, and for some reason, I really struggle going shopping now. It's just such a schlepp and I never have enough time

5. Work from home. I used to be able to work from home for a few days to catch up, but that's no longer possible... Connor will just not let me work at home at all.

6. Garden. I tend to lose interest in gardening when I'm pregnant, and in fact I haven't done much of it since Connor has been around at all. and it's a pity, because I love my garden.

7. Have completely uninterupted sleep... I reckon I'll be able to have that luxury in about 2 years time again. How sad! Means I'll have to live with my rings :)