Count the Bad Mommies

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Seven things I am incapable of doing now I am a parent:

1. See a new baby without getting all idiotically smiley and giggly.

2. Get through the day without saying at least three things no human being should ever have to say. For example: "No, Jackson, cat kibble does not belong up your nose."

3. Hear any sad child-related news story without sobbing big sobby tears.

4. See a pregnant lady without wanting to rush up to her and tell her that I was pregnant too once.

5. Not worry about the environment, crime, violence, the exchange rate etc.

6. Shake my booty. I have tried to dance post Jackson, but I have lost the rhythm and now I belong in the Parents that Dance Embarrassingly Badly Club.

7. Go clothes/book/grocery shopping for myself without buying at least three things for my child.

How about you?

[Write a post in which you relate your seven things]


stephanie (bad mom) said...

Great list. #2 reminds me of a comedian who reflected on that same phenomenon - he had just told his son "We do not put our fingers in our butts." I remember that every time I have to say something crazy to my kids...

And #6, wow, depressing huh? I can totally relate.

angel said...

i LOVE that! what an awesome homework assignment!

sweets said...

hehe this is new homework! funny list and so so true!

The Alterpenguin Superdork said...

Now I will have to make all my things up ;)
I could never dance, looking at my sleeping four year old I can freely admit that rhythm makes about as much sense to me as the rhythm method ...