Introducing Neen

1. Thing 1, Thing 2 and Thing 3, otherwise known as James, Hannah and Jonah.

2. Three things you wouldn't know about me:

If you've read my blog for any length of time, you'd know the good, the bad and the ugly about me, but here are 3 things you might not know:
a) I recently chopped all my hair off. I had waist-length hair for about 10 years, and long hair for another 10. I got sick of it and had it hacked. I'm fairly happy with it. Most days.
b) Most of the time, I feel like an imposter at everything: motherhood, my job and being a grown-up.
c) I wish I could write for a living. It would be a dream come true.

3. Some things you don't know about my kids:

a) I've assigned really odd nicknames to them all: James: Bubby; Hannah: Whirly; Jonah: Woolies. They all mean something special.
b) James is something of a maths and English prodigy. He surprises me sometimes.
c) Jonah is a mini-me.

4. Quote/saying that best describes the way I feel about being a mommy:

I'll quote myself: "Mommies are people too".

5. My Famous Mommy Role Model:

There's a famous mommy role model out there?

6. If I could have one wish granted for my kids, it would be:

to grow up confident and secure in who they are. Unlike their silly mommy.

introduction - c@th

So, here I am, doing my introductory homework, because I am failing dismally with the househunt this morning - sigh. Not my fault they will not put the perfect address up for rent.

1. Post a picture of your kids.


this is my favourite one of the two of us. i look about three thousand years older than i really am, but i don't care. it's from the december holidays, and it was the best time.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

a. I have horrible coordination. seriously. the fact that I have yet to break a limb (touch huge amounts of wood!) in my life is terribly surprising.
b. i type very fast. someone once said i 'am not an easy tiger on the keyboard'.
c. i live in my head most days. i'm learning not to be ashamed of it.

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid(s).

a. Cameron was electrocuted during the first year of life at school. Yep, freak accident at daycare. She has a little scar on the lefthand side of her lip. One day when she asks about it, I will tell her she was working on her Pikachu inner character.
b. She is not afraid to name and explain her emotions. This makes me happy, and think that maybe I am doing a good-enough job.
c. She has a favourite princess skirt that she wears everyday. I am not one to remove a comfort object. Life's too hard already, I say, let the comfort objects rule!
d. As she grows, she becomes more and more affectionate.
e. She crawled for about a week before she thought, bugger this, I'm walking.
f. She has the same birthmark as me, just on the outside of her leg, whilst mine is on the inner thigh.
g. Her favourite crayon is black. I don't believe in the conventional thinking that this is indicative of negative thoughts. I think she's just honest. And on that note...
h. She is the most honest person I have ever met.

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

It is the best of times, it is the worst of times (paraphrase)

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

Um. Famous? Maybe Angelina Jolie or Gwen Stefani. But, in reality, my Mommy Role Model would have to be the single moms out there who do not feel like they have to apologise or justify themselves to anyone.

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

Have good friends.

Introducing LunaNik

As a newly appointed Bad Mommy contributer I'm doing the obligatory getting to know you meme. So here goes:

1. Post a picture of your kids.

Check. See above. That pic is a coupla months old, but it's the newest pic I have of the two of them together. I know, I'm totally a bad mommy. But that's why I'm here. Heh.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

** 1 ** I got pregnant with baby #1 while on the pill. I never, ever planned on having children in my lifetime. Seriously, never. But once I felt that baby grow and move inside me, my entire mindset changed.

** 2 ** I sleep on a mattress on the floor. No box spring. No bed frame. Just mattress and floor. It started as a financial thing. I just couldn't afford the box spring or frame. I love it so much now that I don't think I'll ever have a "real" bed again. Well, maybe when I'm 80 and my old ass won't be able to get up from laying prone on the floor!

** 3 ** I never in a million years thought the conventional roles of a SAHM would be so appealing to me, being that I've always been such an unconventional person.

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid(s).

My kids birthdays are just over a year apart. They're practically twins. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Now, it's wonderful. They are very close. Where one goes, the other follows. But...when they're 13 and 14, I have a feeling I'm in for trouble. Either they will totally be partners in crime and gang up on me, or they will be at each others' throats constantly...even worse, they could be both at the same time. Eeekkk.

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

This one's easy. There is only one saying regarding being a mom that has ever stuck in my head and it's this: "Mother is God in the eyes of a child" It's funny because I'm not religious and have been known to even question the existence of the popular notions of "God"...but there is something about this saying that just resonates with me.

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)

I wouldn't say she's a role model, but I've always respected the hands-on, down to earth approach Reese Witherspoon has taken when raising her children. If I had to pick someone to be a role model, it'd be her.

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

Come on...this is sooooo easy. Two words: TRUST FUND

Bad Mommies... Meet Boobah!

Hi Everyone!

I'm hapiness to introduce my little Boobah to all of you. As I've been rquested and seen all of you do too, here is my introduction bit:

1. Post a picture of your kid(s).

I have only one baby-person - Boobah. He is the love of my life, (even though he screamed his head off and didn't wanne play by himself from 4:30 am this morning) and the reason I breathe everyday.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

a. I hate Barney!

b. I am a top-notch pool player. Especially after a drink or two. I don't know what it is about Vodka flowing through my veins, but it just makes me a better player.

c. I procrastinate - ALOT!

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid(s).

a. My boy loves Barney!

b. He's got his mom's hands.

c. Boobah has a very high pain threshold.

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

I am very very bad at remembering anything cool quotey. It's bad because now I can't think of a witty saying that will make everyone go "Hmm, she's a clever one..."

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)

I happen to like Gwen Stefani alot. She's got good style, and she treats her kid like a normal one.

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

To be happy, and to set acomplishable goals. And to learn how to live and convert dissapointments into something positive. Oops, that's more than one. But how do you setlle on just one wish for a little baby-person?

Introducing....the Restless Housewife

Hi y'all! This looks so fun!

O.K., so for anyone reading this that doesn't know what I'm doing...this is my official Introduction assigned to me by "The Bad Mommy Blog". I look at it as being initiated into a club. It feels more...mysterious.

1. Post a picture of your kid(s).

This I will have to pass on. I don't feel comfortable with the idea of a picture of my 18 month old daughter floating around in cyberspace. BUT, I would be happy to describe her: SHE'S PERFECT - unlike her mother.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

1. I bartended for 8 years. Drinks anyone?!
2. I quit drinking almost 3 years ago when I got pregnant with my daughter.
3. I was painfully shy as a child and as an adolescent. Boy - am I glad that's over!


3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid(s).

1. She's a "halfy": half East-Indian (me) and half "White-American".
2. She's fearless...she's not scared of ANYthing. This scares me.
3. She LOVES "good" food. She would prefer green beans over a slice of cake. Is this kid really mine?


4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

I'm horrible at remembering phrases and sayings, but this is something my best friend told me before having my daughter that I think Steve Martin said? I hope it's not too syrupy sweet...here it goes:

"People tell you how much you're going to love your kids, but no one tells you how much you're going to fall in love with them."

It's so true.

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)

Seriously?

I was going to say Britney, for laughs, but at this point, I just plain feel sorry for her. Which BTW, can someone say "undiagnosed postpartum...gone bad"?

I'd have to say, as annoyingly perfect and smily as this couple is: Jada Pinkett-Smith. I think she wrote a book for her daughter or something. She's pretty cool. Beautiful, strong and has Will wrapped around her little Pinkett finger. Oh, and Faith Hill. She seems like a really really loving, sweet mom.


6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

That she truly loves and feels good about herself, and is able to handle all challenges life hands her with patience, confidence and acceptance.

Oh, and that she'll never leave home. Kidding.

When Bad Means Good

Picture it: I get this comment on my blog at midnight (my time), inviting me to contribute to another blog. I do a little dance - I shake the space between my waist and thighs where some women have an ass and I have only tattoos and stretch marks. I rejoice because someone has finally noticed. I'm a Bad Mommy.

Sure, laziness and shameless plugging, but if you want a little more info on me other than the fact that I am Canadian, a terminal dork, and have a bad attitude, check out the psych profile.

Now, I hear someone's dog eating my homework...

Can't wait to get to know y'all better!

MamaMeeA and all the chaos that follows

Wow. I think my year has just been made - someone actually asking me to contribute to their blog! Thank you. No, seriously....

I'm guessing the best place to start would be with an introduction. In order to expedite the process (and at the risk of getting flamed for seriously shameless plugging), I recommend reading this post to begin with. It's mostly still applicable, I think, at least in my own mind. Except that my life has become far, far more interesting since then - a fact I can confidently attribute to the fact that we have just recently returned to South Africa after three years in the United Arab Emirates, and now live less than a 10-minute drive from my in-laws...

I am the best mother I know how to be, which, to some, is not saying much. To my kids, however, it seems more than adequate thusfar, and I have no doubt that if you were to ask either of them whether they are loved enough, they would answer in the affirmative.

And with that little disclaimer out of the way, excuse me while I join the party and mingle... Anyone know where to find the vodka?

Ima Newbie...

Me & My Pumpkins...

3 things you wouldn't know about me

1. I don't do ironing...
2. I am a Qualified PC/Network Technician (have all the blah blahs to prove it)...
3. I love cars, computers, movies & series, and sexy time...

Some things you wouldn't know about my boys

1. J is 13..
2. D is 9..
3. J wrote me a poem the other day to try convince me not to kick him out..
4. They are actually cool with the fact that I drive a pink car...
5. J is ADD and D is an overachiever who doesn't rock boats...

A saying that best describes the way I feel about being a mommy?

"OMG, I feel old... stop growing dammit!! "

Who's my Famous Mommy Role Model ?

I dont really have a famous mommy role model..but if I am pressed on this point I will have to go with
Madonna: You don't hear of her kids flashing their gauva's* for the camera's and she is still incredibly hot!

If I could have one wish granted for my boys, what would it be?

For a bigger place so they can each get their own room... they are about to kill each other!

B

* gauva's = that bald eagle that britney spears, paris hilton and lindsay lohan are convinced should be flashed about so that we can remind them when its time to go wax again..

about stephanie, the bad mom with documentation

I'm coming from my personal blog that I started last year and named "bad mom" because of a note my then-4-year old son left me after I had done something quite egregious. It's a thrill to now know a) there are bad moms worldwide who freely discuss their shortcomings with glee and b) I've been invited to play with you all.

It's not part of the official introductory homework, but I'll tell you some other stuff anyway - I'm a teacher at an alternative high school (I am all about bad, apparently; although many of my students are delightful and not [too] bad), have been married almost 15 years (in a row, to the same guy), and would eat pizza every night for dinner if it weren't so socially unacceptable (and expensive).

Thanks for having me. Enjoy my badness.

1. Post a picture of your kids.

Mason the carnivore, age 9

Paige the lover of all things stuffed & cute, age 7

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

Well if you looked at my other blog, you'd kinda know most stuff; perhaps I should be less forthcoming over there. Hmmm. How about - I had a huge crush on James Dean all through college; I bite my hangnails constantly; I always read while I brush my teeth.

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kids.

The boy: weighed 4 lbs. when he was born; can do startlingly (and sometimes annoyingly) accurate impressions of people and animals; remembers outrageously trivial pieces of information yet frequently forgets things we've told him 30 seconds before; writes beautifully in cursive; loves watching Singin' in the Rain

The girl: sucks the pointer & middle fingers of her left hand; can add & multiply off the top of her head frighteningly fast; adores The Beatles; is skilled at putting together jigsaw puzzles; loves word searches

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

A happy childhood has spoiled many a promising life. ~ Robertson Davies

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

I really like Kate Winslet (and secretly pretend to be her when I'm out & about; if I were braver I would affect an English accent with the grocery clerk) - she looks lovely & charming yet slightly harried whenever she's doing regular mom things. And I find it refreshing that I couldn't pick her kids out of a line-up because she refuses to parade them around like trendy souvenirs.

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kids, what would it be?

For them to feel confident in their own abilities. It seems that would help a lot during the dreaded peer pressure moments. And, frankly, take some work off my shoulders (this is about being a bad mom, right?)

say hello to CamiKaos...

Hi, I'm CamiKaos... I'm new to The Bad Mommy Blog but not new to the bad mommy game... I've had six years to perfect my parenting (okay so perfect isn't what I would call my parenting skills but isn't that the point of this blog?) and though it's sometimes been a bumpy road, I wouldn't trade a moment of it...

When I was asked to join these other lovely bad mom's I received some instructions that spelled out for me how to begin and so with our further ado my Bad Mommy Homework 1... it's a little late but I hope it makes the grade.

Post a picture of your kid.

this is K. Yes she really is that dramatic.

Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

Well since you probably wouldn't know anything about me at all unless I told you I can pretty much say anything I want here can't I? I could tell you that I always have my toe nails painted because I feel sexy and sassy that way. I can tell you that I have a crippling cherry coke addiction. I can tel you that I'm not wearing any shoes right now. There. Three things, easy.

Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.

Again... I can say anything here... wild inventions, honest truths, quirky traits. But lets go with... She loves superheroes. She loves to have her toes nails painted too. Her favorite meal is salt crusted talapia, rice and broccoli.

What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

This is life.

Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model?

I don't have one. I find that in this day and age we, as a society, put far too much emphasis on famous people as our heroes and role models and not nearly enough on "regular" people. My mommy role models are my mother, my aunt and my ex house mate who was a single mom and doing one hell of a job raising a great kid.

If you could have one wish granted for your kid, what would it be?

There was one thing my parents always said they wanted for me as I was growing up... my happiness. That is truly what I wish for my daughter. I long and happy life.

Is that it? that wasn't so tough... homework shmomework... We'll talk again soon

xoxo- CamiKaos

Introducing ... SheBee

So, I've been tossing and turning about whether I should contribute to this blog or not. But then I thought, "fuck it" it'll be fun, and will remind me of a part of myself I sometimes tend to forget ever existed.

You see, for those of you who don' t know, my one and only child died four years ago. She was 7 months old. I have made peace with this, and am not looking for sympathy, or even worse - pity. I feel that I can still have a say as a mommy, but it just might be a little bit different to the rest of the bad mommies you will read here, is that okay?

In my decision of joining here, I am okay with being the different 'bad mommy' of the lot. In fact, it quite suits my conceited self :P

From now onwards, my posts will most likely be on other kids. Probably yours if you're not careful, so best you tell them to be on good behaviour cause aunty Sheen can be pa-retty scary when the need calls. So, without further ado, here's mine (and Kiera's) introduction:

Here's me posting a picture of Kiera, or otherwise known as Kiki:

In the top left corner, Kiki is in her pram staring at the T.V. Isidingo, to be more precise. For some reason if we ever changed the channel while she was watching that program she would start screaming. So wha-eva, let the kid watch the damn show, right? (Bad Mommy confession #1). On the right you have an obscured photo of me kissing my baby girl. Bottom left gives you Kiera and her mowgli smile. Nasal cannula's included for the ease of breathing. She had a lung disease.

Three things you wouldn't know about me:

1. I have lots of freckles
2. I'm not that great with affection
3. I'm quite a tomboy in the way that I prefer to be in jeans and shirts without make up. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have ever blow dried my hair.

Three things you wouldn't have known about Kiera:

1. She had red hair and blue eyes which came from nowhere since her father was greek and I have dark features myself.
   
2. She was born to be an angel and she looked like one too.
3. Her giggle was the sound of gold and her smile was not unlike Mowgli, in the Jungle Book story.

A quote that best describes how I feel about being a mommy:

"Love your child, love with your child, love without your child"

I really don't think I have a famous mommy role model. They are all far too skinny and beautiful :P

I also refuse to make wishes. Ever. In any circumstance. Just like I chose to believe, at the age of seven, that the easter bunny ran off with the tooth fairy and fell in love and never came back to work.

Aaaaand, that about sums up my intro. Kiera has a story all on her own already written up and created on my personal blog, so if you feel the need for some background history, click here.

I look forward to reading all of your stories, and hope that some of my participation will assist in the cause of this blog.

Happy days!

Introducing Ciara

1. Post a picture of your kid.







2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

I have absolutely no sense of colour coordination or interior design. I just can't see it when colours don't 'go'.
I'm a 'toy' junkie. I love electronics and kids toys. I can't help myself.
I love maths :-)


3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.

Ciara is seven and still sleeps in my bed. She is afraid to put her head under water. I still bath her every night. She loves to read and can read almost fluently. She's the best kid I could ever have wished for.


4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

"Mothers are all slightly insane" ~ J.D. Salinger


5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)

Don't really have one. If I really had to pick, I guess I would say Julia Roberts, Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Garner.



6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

Hmm, my maternal instinct would be that her heart never got broken. But that teaches us something. I guess it would be that she got to live a full, and wonderful life, complete with sorrow and heartbreak but emerge from her teens and twenties a happy and centred human being who was kept safe until she dies peacefully in her sleep from natural causes with all her faculties at 85.

introducing ... kay and jay......!!

aka (names deleted)... the sweet offspring of sweetass...

post a picture of your kid... i have two kidlets... i refer to them as my beasties... couldn't post a just one so here's two photos... i think they are so bloomin beautiful!

Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you:

oh dear... here goes

• i don't own a vibrator... i really should go buy one... sorry is this too un~mommy~like??... sorry if it is... you asked after all
• i have a really really bad temper... i hate that about myself
• i've never done drugs... tried weed with no effect...nada...

Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kidS:

• they love motorbikes... they now each have one of their own... luckily i have a good medical aid
• both my kids have my temper, i am irish after all... it doesn't help that their daddy also has a horrible temper, even worse than mine, so .... sigh... not good
• onto better things: kay will tell me he loves me about 20 times a day... love that about him
• jay is very lazy and has a way with his mommy... i end up doing everything for him
• they are addicted to playstation, psp and dvd's... it's a sickness i tell ya
• both of my kids love fruit... probably because i force fed them the stuff since birth
• they love to sleep in my bed, i've started to break that habit slowly but surely
• they both hate school
• kay has a very good sense of humour
• jay is a true gentleman, he will do things for me without me asking

What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

i don't know what i would have done without my kids... it's not a saying or a quote, i just say it lots and lots...

Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model:

if i HAVE to... madonna or julia roberts... no particular reason they just seem to do the mommy~thing quite well and with dedication...

If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

that they find peace with themselves at an early age and live every second to the fullest... and probably most of all i wish they'll be happy... ok that's more than one wish but i'm a mama one wish is not good enough!! to summarise... i hope they never have any regrets about anything!

Heeeeeeere's Damien!

and Angel of course... as per the tag...

1. Post a picture of your kid.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.
I never brush my hair
I only shave if I know I’m going to have sex
I love spiders but a flying ant can send me screaming

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid.
Damien has watched the X-Files TV series so many times on DVD he can recite almost every episode!
He has watched the Matrix trilogy more times than I can count. He loves certain moves, and DSTV’s Animax... but I have to practically beg him to sit and watch TV with me so I’ve never been able to use it to “keep him busy” (bad mommy style).
Even at almost 17 years old he still loves to build his LEGO.
He never stops drawing- this is SO not an exaggeration...
He has always been a water baby... he’ll swim at the drop of a hat and he’ll bath or shower several times a day if given the opportunity.
He's never slept much... even as a baby.
He's very particular over what he wears and always has been... even when he looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster!

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?
The best thing about being a mom…
Loving this intensely, deeply, unconditionally, madly.
The scariest thing about being a mom…
Loving this intensely, deeply, unconditionally, madly.

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)
Angelina Jolie of course! She even looks like me!

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?
That he can have the career he wants and like it no matter how much he earns or where he ends up living!

Meet The Bridge: Your Veritable Crappy Momma!

1. She is as fat as a plum. Almost 5-years-old and a motor mouth. Her name is The Pickle.

2. I never give out my cellphone number to anyone but people who seriously need to have it. Currently, only six people have it, the extra two being very recent additions, its usually just four people.

When I was 17/18 I tried to kill myself sixteen times. I am as surprised as you are at my uselessness in this regard. I obviously never wanted to die that young.

I would like to write a book about Jacob Zuma whom I hate with an unreasoning passion!

3. When she was two months old she was attacked by African bees. She had 36 stings and lived to tell the tale, well not really as she couldn’t speak etc etc.

She calls me BRIDGET when she is annoyed with me.

She dances like a rock star!

4. “How the fuck did I land myself in this situation?”

5. Honestly don’t have one. I raise her, one day at a time, drunk or sober.

6. That they would invent a growth pill that would catapult her into her 30s as it is the best time to be alive if you didn’t spend your 20s drunk and under some man’s thumb.

Introducing: Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills

1. Post a picture of your kid(s).

Here's my boy. Troy Riley Shepherd. 9 weeks old.

2. Tell us all 3 things we wouldn't know about you.

1. I'm vegetarian, but I love Bovril.

2. I went to a sangoma while I was pregnant - to find out if I was having a girl/boy. Ordinary doctors couldn't tell me. The sangoma told me I was having a boy and that I'd have to have a caesarian because there would be complications with the umbilical cord. She was right.

3. I'm scared of Kreepy-Krawlies. I have to remove them from the pool before I swim.

3. Tell us some things we wouldn't know about your kid(s).

Hmmm....he's still pretty new, so he doesn't really have any cute traits and hasn't really said anything funny yet.

He cant suck his bottle and push a putty at the same time. He doesn't have enough pressure to do both.

4. What quote/saying best describes the way you feel about being a mommy?

"Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children." ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

5. Who's your Famous Mommy Role Model (haha, like there actually are any good celebrity mommies)

Britney Spears. Haha. Not. Do feel sorry for her though. I'd also lose the plot if I had my boy taken from me....

6. If you could have one wish granted for your kid(s), what would it be?

That he doesn't have his dad's temper - so I'd wish for him the patience to deal with people and frustrating situations.