being a mother

...write a post explaining when it is that you most feel like a mother. And when it is that you don't. When did you first realise that you were somebody's mother?

Right now, I feel most like a mother when my kids are experiencing significant emotional hardships - the kind of things only a mom's insight can help them through.

Examples: My daughter (just turned 8) has friends who are already starting the "You look fat in that" and "Let's not play with her" nonsense. I have to stop myself from simply judging & commanding - "That's dumb, don't be mean" - and come up with a dialogue that will [hopefully] keep her talking to me honestly through the coming (scary scary) teen years.

With my son, we visited a neurologist this year and are pretty certain he has mild Tourette Syndrome along with OCD. As a mother, I have to help him understand the technical stuff but more importantly, give him some useful tools for coping in a sometimes cruel world when all he wants is to be "normal" and have friends who don't think he's "weird."

Not feeling like a mother comes surprisingly easy for me. Maybe because I'm also a teacher, I naturally slip between the roles I play everyday. When I put on my going-out wardrobe (cleavage-revealing tops, tighter-ass jeans) and get myself to a cocktail party or bar, I flip the Mommy switch to Sassy Hottie Wife.

It's funny how having a baby placed in your arms doesn't necessarily trigger that "I'm a mom now" feeling. I had the realization hit me hardest when I ran into a woman at the library who looked at me and said, "Oh! You're Mason's mom!" I took for granted my everyday life with him; to have an outsider 'label' me made it real.

Who knew this job would be so fricking complicated? And for no salary. But even though I can't buy shoes with what I get out of it, the rewards are great.