A Letter To Damien Of The Future…

My dearest, darling, centre-of-my-little-universe, gorgeous Damien

Whilst this letter may go as far into the future as next century some time in this here Ethernet as well as in our interpersonal dealings- in terms of how it relates to you, it may only make it as far as tomorrow.

Now, when you asked me yesterday after work if you could go to Flower’s house after school on Thursday, and then go on Friday again for a braai, I told you I would think about it. I then dashed off to a PTA meeting, where I didn’t have time to think about it as we were discussing other matters pertaining to your education.
Asking me again- as soon as I walked in the door after the meeting- if you could go on Thursday and Friday was not a smart move sweetie. And my displaying mild irritation at being asked again before I’d had a chance to put my bag down was fully justified. Your foot stomping was not.
And then this morning, your little hissy-whiney-bitch-fit and then muttering as you slammed the car door did absolutely ZERO, NADA, ZIP, ZILCH for your cause. Would it not make sense to you, beloved son, to try and butter me up and perhaps attempt to sweet talk your way into visiting Flower on Thursday AND on Friday.
At the rate you were going this morning, I was about to ground you for a month just before I dropped you off.
All that happens when you pull those childish stunts is that I drive too fast whilst I stew about how pissed I am at you, and we both have a shitty day.
And then two text messages whilst I was at work asking if I’d made a decision yet!!?! No dude, this is not how you operate.
I told you I would think about it and that’s what I am doing. I told you I do not have the petrol or the inclination to drive you back and forth from your girlfriend this weekend.
And this was not the first, and probably by far not the last time you handle interactions with me this way.
And you want to know what drives me absolutely bat shit- the complete 180 turnaround in your attitude and mood when you get your way. The way you suddenly come over all smiling and laughing makes me want to hit you!

In future, my sweet child, please please try to think before you speak… maybe try and pretend I am a buddy from school… then perhaps I will get a civil tongue rather than growls?

Love you to the moon.

Really.