Count the Bad Mommies

Thursday, January 31, 2008

A Bad Mommy Being Interrogated By Bridget

1. What was your biggest disappointment when you found out you were pregnant and how did you cope with it?

Sheesh, since I was 17 years old I had a LOT of them!
No matric dance... no time-honored post-matric road trip... no varsity after school... no European backpacking... no hubby/ boyfriend to help raise my child as his family weren’t interested... people I thought were my friends turned out not to be...
As for coping, I had my family, I had friends and I had my church. I decided I was not going to be one of those teenage moms who simply vanish off the face of the earth when they leave school because they’re pregnant... at least, that was what happened in the nineties. I dealt with it by carrying on as normally as I possibly could. Given the circumstances.

2. How have you managed, if you have, to retain the friendships of child-less friends?

To be honest, this took me a while to work through. I was so jealous of my friends ability to go gallivanting as and when they pleased that I’d resent them telling me about their adventures... and then I’d get upset when they didn’t include me! And after a little while they didn’t include me because I got snippy when they spoke to me about what they’d been up to and didn’t want to upset me! Talk about a rock and a hard place.
I had to face the facts and put on my big-girl panties and deal with it though, otherwise I’d have lost them forever. Now most of my friends have children, albeit a lot younger than Damien...

3. Have you acknowledged the mistakes you have made in raising your child, to your child?

Um, am I a bad mommy if I admit I have?
Yes I have. I have apologised to Damien for accusing him of something he didn’t do. I have apologised to him for skimping on his Christian education so much when he was younger. I have apologised to him on occasion for snapping or yelling when there was no call for it.

4. What is the best thing your kid's other parent has said about your parenting?

Lessee... we split when I was three months pregnant and haven’t spoken since, so what say I make it up, eh... Nuh, I’m not going to bother... I doubt he’s ever said anything since he’s never met Damien.
I’ve had lots of friends and family members tell me they admire my strength and see me as a role model (WTF??!?) to other single and teen moms.

5. What is the worst?

snigger... with mine and Damien’s track record, I reckon the dude would have a field day given the opportunity!
There have been other people- complete strangers sometimes- who have accused me of being a lazy mother who can’t cope because I medicate my son for his ADHD...


sweetass RSA said...

ah babe you rock as a mommy, how can you not see this???!!!!

strange how life goes eh?

Bridget said...

God! Go ahead and make the rest of use feel inadequate why don't you? You're a brave, brave woman.

Nosjunkie said...

I take it the haters are people who dont have kids with ADHD... I gave afterschool to a bunch of ADD boys they are a freekin hand full.
Mommy didnt medicate either because the school had him from 8-2 and I had hom from 2-6 so she only got the happy tired out hours afterwards.
I am however not a big fan of meds because I saw another boy be medicated for ADD while he was just 'n spoilt little brat who needed a firm hand.
only medicate when it is verry needed and when its backed up by a good doc

Angel you are a great roll model. not only for teen mommies but single mommies and all. you have a great relationship with your kid and you remember that he is a kid and cant learn it all in one day.
I hope to have just a fraction of the streanth and cofidance you have one day when I'm a mom.

daddy sounds like a right fair gid and a coward at that if you dont min me saying so
(I have this problem with speaking my mind you know)


Kerryn said...

WTF?!? I hate judgemental people who think that being a mom is so easy. I'm so tired at the end of the day, and Ciara does not have ADHD.

Good on you Angel. Ignore the haters.

angel said...

sweetass: as do you doll! as do you!

bridget: rotfl-ing here!

nosjunkie:thanx lee!!! and you speak your mind all you want girl!

kerryn: ta! actually, there's one in particular who's always been full of advice and wasn't particularly keen on parenthood himself... and his 1st is due in august! i have to refrain from giggling constantly whenever he mentions it!!!