Count the Bad Mommies

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

really... more homework already?

Only my second day here and I'm already behind... Lets catch up and learn a little more about this bad mommy and her wonderful family...

What do you remember most clearly about the birth of your kid?

I always hear that the pain of childbirth fades from your memory... that in time what you're left with is that perfect memory of your child in your arms... Isn't that sweet? Isn't it comforting? It is, isn't it? It's also total bullshit.

What I remember the very most is a great overwhelming sense of relief that K was out, alive and over 5 pounds. I had a complicated pregnancy and an awful delivery so the fact that she made it out in one perfect little piece and slightly bigger than expected... I just remember the relief. I wish I could say it was pride or joy but it wasn't. Relief.

I won't bore/terrify you with the details of my daughters delivery today, it's a tale in and of its self... But I will tell you that if you're preparing to give birth you need to expect the unexpected.

What weird cravings did you have, if any?

I had no weird cravings but I had plenty of aversions. I lost weight in my first trimester and then was barely able to gain an acceptable amount in my 2nd and 3rd trimesters. The smell of things I normally loved tended to make me very ill.

What other names were you debating, before you settled on the name you did?

If K had been a boy we would have had a hard time picking a name. We loved Paul and Maximilian among others but there were never any other options for a girl.

What's the hardest part about being a mommy?

For me the hardest part of being a mommy, at first, was accepting that breast feeding didn't work for K and I. We tried and tired but she was so tiny that there was a great need to get her eating well and fast... she was so tiny and she had such a difficult time suckling. When we discussed it with the lactation consultant she did her best to make me feel like a horrible person because I wanted to give her formula to ensure she was being nourished. It was heart breaking for me and I was still emotionally drained from the pregnancy and delivery. I was unstable. I was in pain. Luckily I had Mr. Kaos' love and support and enough common sense to discuss the situation with K's pediatrician and my doctor.

The hardest part when K was 3 was dealing with her "I hate you" period. No ones mentions how hard 3 year olds can be. You hear about the terrible 2's but I didn't think 2 was all that bad. It was three that saw K lobbing insults and injury at me. It's hard not to crumble when you live with a tiny evil tyrant...

The hardest part now is being me. Being Cami. Being my own person while being her mother. It is all too easy to give in to being a wife and a mother completely and forget what makes you, you. I did that for a while and it was hard to come back from.

How did becoming a mommy change you?

I can't even begin to tell you.

What advice would you give any future mommies-to-be?

Drink lemon water if you're still swollen when you get home from the hospital... Talk to your doctor if you feel overwhelmed or depressed. Don't let crazy people touch your belly.


angel said...

it is suprising how much you forget when your baby is born... its so NOT like it is in the movies!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

when is anything EVER like it is in the movies? you're up early, angel...;)

Nosjunkie said...

Okay Broodiness cured thanks to pain discription of childbirth.
thank you

Goblin said...

What's weird is all of you have mentioned not letting weird people touch your belly or your baby. Where do these people come from???? There's no way I'd ask to touch someones preggers belly or the baby for that matter. Even when people ask me if I want to hold a baby I protest. (Not because I don't like them, in fact I like them more before they learn to talk).

CamiKaos said...

Goblin: It's easy to tell people not to touch your kid... and I had friends that, like you, didn't want to hold her. Like her Godfather who didn't hold her till she was like 3 months old... but for some reason random people think they need to talk to your belly, rub your belly, pat your belly. I almost kicked someone... I should have.

nosjunkie: sure thing

angel & emct: Never like in the movies. Movies are crazy. You have that woman that goes "Hoo hooo hooo hooo" and then tries to rip off the loving husbands man parts and then the happy reunion with mother and child as she stares at her perfect baby like she didn't feel a think. Not gonna happen.

katydidnot said...

ohdeargod, what is with the lactation consultants? good grief.

katydidnot said...

i sort of wanted to not breastfeed just to spite them.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ahhh Cami. Tiny baby K. :D
Miss M couldn't breast feed either. I felt so bad, but she just couldn't do it.
When we had Miss E we always knew what we would call her. If she'd been a boy we'd have struggled too. Weird.

Lori- Fairytales & Margaritas said...

I went through the failed breastfeeding 4x over. And every time someone made me feel like shit. WTF is up with those people?