Count the Bad Mommies

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Letter of Intent...


It was not something I wanted to do but they pushed me and pushed me until finally I had no choice..

There was a meeting in the kitchen..
Three present and counting. One exhausted, frustrated, unappreciated mom and two skulking scared boys...

I gave them both copies for which they signed for so that there is no "But I didn't know!" plea's later on.

The document in question is an official Letter of Grievance.

Dear Spawn of mine,

1. I will no longer sign homework books - Tired of living a lie
2. I will no longer make lunches for school - It ends up in the bin anyway.
3. Your bedroom will no longer be cleaned by the maid - I can't afford the danger pay she demands.
4. If your dirty plates are not packed in the dishwasher then all meals will be served on the dirty dishes.
5. Clothing left on the floor will not be washed - alternatively teach your clothes to get up and walk itself to wash basket.
6. Bad attitude will be dealt with by the only means available - whips, chains, sticks, slops, cups, whatever.
7. Shouting and screaming at each other falls under Bad Attitude - see above
8. Money for airtime, shop,etc will have to be earned the old fashioned way - suck up to you Granny Outlaw, or sell unwanted crap to unsuspecting friends/relatives.
9. Trips to school, youth, shops, friends, etc will be charged for accordingly - I am not the free taxi service previously abused.


The above are to be strictly adhered to and any deviation from them will result in my complete resignation as you Mother and will have further repercussion such as emergency evacuation from the family home (for your own safety of course).

I think I am being very clear and look forward to a happier environment for everyone concerned.

Signed,
Mother

Well, After many jaw dropping minutes. I finally told them that this is the reality that they have built and since I have not quite reached that point I am just showing them what is on the cards if their behaviour does not buck up smart smart!

14 comments:

BecauseIcan said...

;-)

Mandy said...

oh thats GOOD!!!

zoeyjane said...

hahaha. that's as extreme as my eviction notice was during my 38th week of pregnancy.

Boobah's Mom said...

That is absolutely BRILLIANT! Will HAVE to keep for future use!

Boobah is too little now for it to have same desired effect...

Well played, hun!

Rose said...

Gobsmacked but brilliant!!!

Buffy said...

Do you think that could work on my husband? I reckon its worth a try...I'll keep you posted!

angel said...

i think thats fan-friggin-tastic! i shoulda done it with damien years ago!!!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

let us know how it all pans out....

Bridget said...

Close you doors everyone!!!!!

Some kids are going to be looking for new homes but as you can see, they will be deranged because they live with maniac mother!!!!

:-)

BecauseIcan said...

Mandy - thanks!

Zoey - I would love to read your eviction notice!

Boobah - Im glad I could be of service.. ;-)

Rose - hehe..Yeah, that they were!

Buffy - Considering men are like children I think if it does work on mine it should work on yours..

Angel - I shoulda done it years ago too!!

EMCT - It is all still very new and fresh with them.. things are going wonderfully and I am now getting more hugs smiles and loving you wont believe it.. How long it lasts.. not sure..lol

B - I told them to email you first.. pickle needs a playmate;-)

B

sweets said...

i like you...
i think you are my new hero ;)

BecauseIcan said...

Sweets - does this mean I have to start wearing my knickers on the outside?

lol

B

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

outside your clothes. and backwards!

suchsimplepleasures said...

ah-men! i posted a letter like that, a couple of months ago...sadly, my kids didn't read it. so...i'm sending mine to live at the local junk yard...care to send yours along with mine?