Count the Bad Mommies

Friday, May 16, 2008

The Baddest of a Pretty Bad Bunch

So I like to think I'm pretty bad.
I like to think I'm pretty hardcore. But a soggy, toothless smile from my 6 month old son totally melts my cold heart.
It was, as most of you know, an unplanned pregnancy. I'd previously thought I was pro-abortion. Turns out, I was mistaken. Sometimes I regret that choice. Other times not.
They say that becoming a mother teaches you patience. I say not. I'm no more patient than I was before, I've just learnt to put someone else before myself. I still have no patience for anyone else. There's none left after The Kid.
I've learnt not to sweat the small stuff. So he wants to suck his dummy? So what. Parting him from it is a problem to worry about in the future. Not today. So he wants to watch TV? So what. It gives me a bit of time to go for a smoke, have a shower. I'm okay with that.
I used to be horrified at parents who pulled funny faces and made funny noises at their babies in public. Now I dont care who sees me do it. Why? Because it makes him laugh. And that's worth all the public humiliation in the world.
My life hasn't turned out exactly the way I planned. Most of the time, I'm oaky with that. While all my friends get up in the morning and get dressed for a day in court, I get up and stay in my pjyamas. I get dressed in the afternoon, before The Boyfriend gets home. They have briefcases and business suits, I have nappy bags and playsuits. Their work day ends when they leave the office, mine begins when I put The Kid to bed, and I head upstairs to hit the textbooks and law reports.
I work on my thesis while The Kid plays at my feet. I cook dinner while reading law journal articles and playing with The Kid. I can type out notes while giving The Kid a bottle. I can change a nappy while he's on my lap. I dont mind when he vomits on my papers or chews them. My life is my baby. My friends' lives and babies are their jobs. My baby is my life, and my job.
I used to think being a stay at home mother was a cop-out.A way of getting out of working. I now know that it's the hardest work there possibly is. And there's no pay, and little recognition. One day in an entire 365day year is nowhere near enough to acknowledge what we do.
I've learnt that being a 'bad mommy' doesn't mean you dont care. Or that you're really a bad person. Sometimes it's what your kid needs. Letting them drink the bathwater, eat grass and suck the carpet is not the end of the world.
In fact, it's only the beginning. And while my kid is learning how to be a kid,
I'm learning how to be a mommy.
Albeit a bad one...


Manager Mom said...

Welcome to the bad mommy club.

the good news is, our kids only (theoretically) have one mother.

So they have a pretty low baseline for comparison. As the only mother they'll most likly have, our farts smell like roses.

angel said...

wow... that was awesome! i may have to concede my claim to the crown...

sweets said...

that was great, i don't know how the hell i'm going to beat you guys...

this was so funny i'm still laughing...

"Letting them drink the bathwater, eat grass and suck the carpet is not the end of the world"


phd in yogurtry said...

You really capture it with your observation about patience. I'm not sure I'm more patient now, either, so much as willing to put my kids' needs first (not at every moment, but obviously, overall, which is what being a mommy requires). But definately no model of patience am I. My kids will be the first to tell you.

Sue Doe-Nim said...

Oh I think I have a crush on all of you.

I thought I was awful when my son offered to pay for my Brazillian out of his piggy bank.

But. Wait. Oh yes.

There are worse mothers than I.

(only because I haven't come around to confessing the really good stuff yet)

moooooog35 said...

Angel left a couple of comments on my I thought I'd return the favor.

The problem is, I'm the only guy here.

Although highly erotic (and one of my better fantasies), I'm feeling a little out of sorts.

I see, however, that "a soggy toothless smile" melts your heart.

Maybe I should come back when I'm, say, 80 or so?

kristleharrison said...

Ah, the toothless grins are the best.. so are the sloppy wet kisses and huge hugs around your neck.. Great blog!

SheBee said...

Damnit woman. I didn't mean to come here and bloody cry.

rantingdiva said...

Yay! Bad Mommies! I've never popped over here before, but through Sage, by golly, here I am.

Anyway, being a bad mommy is amazingly fun. I've been one myself for many moons. Now I'm a Naughty Nana in addition to a bad mommy and let me tell ya ladies...

It only gets better!